September 12, 2011

Damian ‘Breaded’ Hunsacker tossed the car keys into the candy dish, distorting the adjacent dimension and disturbing the m&ms. His pocket handkerchief turned into a frog.

Meanwhile, somewhere far across the galaxy, Alma Lafferty slipped on an oil slick in her garage. Falling heavily, she shattered her right wrist and her vow nevermore to use foul language. Gaining her feet, she became an umpire and found herself vigorously indicating ‘safe’.

At the same time, Harold Plank of Sandusky, Ohio lifted a bowl of liver and placed it atop the refrigerator. His pet badger, a known mage, emerged from a cupboard to dine.

Taken in sum, in effect, overall, these three incidents combined to raise the sea level a fraction of an inch on Tim, the happiest planet in the universe.

And certain professional football teams wept for joy.

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