PRELUDE TO THE GREAT POTATO CHIP MASSACRE
June 26, 2012
Lemuel McCoy
Sassafras McCoy
Harlan McCoy
bag of potato chips
Arlo Hatfield
Zebediah Hatfield
Coney Hatfield
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have ever encountered. The population swooned to death, and the aliens took the entire planet of Earth home with them. They had it bronzed and placed it beside Shakespeare’s wife on their second best bed.
ALIEN INVASION #scifi #Dada Tentacles dangling beneath wrinkled red globular heads, the aliens drifted downward like tiny parachutes of menace. Gathering in force near Fresno, they attacked, emitting a pungent scent not unlike that of the most wretched long dead porcupine you pic.twitter.com/WDsxvsOXuf
DIARY #cartoon There remains but one minor obstacle standing between me and hair restoration immortality. pic.twitter.com/cyQtPPCLy4
3 of 5 stars to Airframe by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/54…
Rand Stallbirk sprang into the room only to discover the slumped, weeping form of Bubbles. “Darling, why?” he cooed. “It wouldn’t close,” she gasped, and her shoulders shook as a new wave of grief swept over her.
THE SUITCASE CASE #whimsy In an Old World manner, Bubbles Throckmorton emptied her revolver into the paisley pattern featured on the side of the despicable suitcase. Tilting her head back, she loosed a maniacal laugh, which serpentined out the window to disappear over the moor.
vodka and a rasher of ham. Unmold puddings onto the kitchen floor, sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to your wolf and stand aside while she devours the puddings. Move to France.
DUCK PUDDING #recipe 8 ducks one package gelatin Pluck ducks, setting aside feathers. Puree ducks into a paste. Mix in gelatin. Beat with a small oar until your arm trembles. Pour result into 20 parakeet molds and refrigerate. Down a fifth of
want to advance. Carstairs (muttering): You have to be nuts. Usher: What did you say? Carstairs: Nothing. You convinced me. Two gaudy yellow blossoms in an expanse of green are invisible. Right. Usher: Quiet. Get your gun. He’s coming out.
A PLAYLET #drama Carstairs: We’re too conspicuous, I tell you. Usher: Nothing of the kind. We blend right in. Carstairs: You’re kidding, right? Look around. Mightn’t green have been a better choice? Usher: You have no sense of adventure, Carstairs. You have to be bold if you pic.twitter.com/AMZV1QowQM
4 of 5 stars to Hail to the Chef by Julie Hyzy goodreads.com/review/show/54…
@charIottebronn Boris Karloff's maternal grandmother was the sister of Anna Leon-Owens of The King and I fame.
NAIL SHOP #Dada It's time for a new nail shop. There is a vacancy between 2 Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks on a block with only 8 other nail shops. My new nail shop will be the only one giving away a free bag of roofing nails and a dead octopus with each buffing.
THE SOCK POEM #dada #poem i want to wear my socks today filled with lumber, coal, and hay but if this wish i can’t fulfill i’ll wear my socks, one on each ear
SILLY HANDMAIDENS #poetry #dada #horror silly young handmaidens spring to the fore hands awash in blood and gore in triumph they dance upon the lawn stomping on peacocks from dusk 'til dawn oh the darkest cruel deed with great misfortune did succeed Burma Shave
3 of 5 stars to Cold by John Smolens goodreads.com/review/show/54…
gang. An argument ensued, not one outlaw trusting another out of his sight. All of which goes to show that a good find is hard to man.
a treasure so vast as to make Aladdin jealous. “They’s too much too carry. I’ll guard it. You fellers go back and get a wagon,” said Cavendish. “Why don’t you go back and get a wagon, and I’ll guard it,” said Stokes, the most cantankerous member of the
Cavendish, the gang’s leader, strolled over and hunkered down beside a boulder matching the drawing on the map. “Does my heart good to know she weren’t lyin’ and will rest in Paradise ‘stead of sufferin’ damnation. Now, boys, start diggin’.” Inside of an hour they had unearthed
PUNSLINGERS #flashfiction A band of outlaws rode to the gully marked on the map. They dismounted and tied their horses to scraggly bushes. “This here’s the place, sure as shootin’,” said Alkali, tapping at the X on the map. “Yep,” said Brodie, and he spat on the ground. Butch
THE FASTEST FLY #poem The fastest fly loved to perch on hands. He sat on noses during naps. One fateful day he tried to work with a bad head cold. He landed on a man named Jack. He started to laugh. A hand went WHACK
STILL LIFE ICE OR SPEED BOAT WAKE #photography pic.twitter.com/mAd3tJWLsu
and get out of my face?” said a nearby crab, Devon Holloway. Bill Scroggins lashed his tail in a fury and quickly sought a more private refuge. Having found it, he sighed and once again dimpled his large suctorial mouth. All around him, but unaware, the reef continued to exist.
THE FURTIVE LAMPREY #whimsy The furtive lamprey, Bill Scroggins by name, slipped silently into the darkest reaches of his favorite coral cave. His large suctorial mouth dimpled into a grin. “They’ll never find me here,” said the self-satisfied lamprey. “Why don’t you shut up
CARTOON #cartoon “Damn straight I went to market. I sure as hell wasn’t stayin’ home.” pic.twitter.com/FDZJSgl99M
4 of 5 stars to The Midnight Library by Matt Haig goodreads.com/review/show/54…
@Crisopera1 @davidcinema The nearly 7 hours of Sergei Bondarchuk's War and Peace. Thankfully it's divided into 3 bites on the dvd.
MILD CURSES #Dada 1. May your comb be eaten by a burro. 2. May your favorite shoes be filled with nectar. 3. May you grow an extra set of ears and then go deaf. 4. May you fall down and break your nicest shirt.
@Crisopera1 Later served as Ray Kroc's butler. Fascinating life.
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