THE LITIGIOUS CHAMBERMAID
“I’ll sue, I will!” cried Letty, the litigious chambermaid in response to the severe dressing down she had recently received from Mrs. Grane, the housekeeper.
“Nah, yer won’t. Yer always says it, but yer never does it, do yer?” mocked Bert, the footman.
“This time’s different. I will! I will!” stated Letty with passion, and she flounced from the room, muttering under her breath and carrying a pot of polish and three clean rags.
“Here now, girl, where are you going?” queried Harms, the butler, when Letty hurried by him in a seeming severity of haste.
“Library. Polish,” Letty offered without so much as a turn of the head.
“Stop right there, Missy,” said Harms.
Letty came to a reluctant halt and lowered her head. She received this second upbraiding of the morning without a quiver, but in her head she screamed I’LL SUE YOU, TOO, YOU OLD WALRUS!
As it was her half day, she spent the afternoon with her friend Gladys, servant next door but one. Gladys was a comfort, and Letty poured her many grievances into the receptive ears of Gladys. The pair of them walked along the river. As their stroll evolved from rushed to leisurely in tandem with the progress of Letty’s complaints being released into the atmosphere, two blokes leaning against a brick wall called to them, commenting on their physical attractions and offering to buy them a pint.
“Get out of it, or I’ll sue you!” shouted Letty, of a sudden crimson-faced.
And lo and behold, three years later, Letty’s successful lawsuit against a greengrocer set her up for life in a Falmouth tea shop.
