Anvil in a Lace Bootie

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…

7:22 pm · May 22, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

toughest test yet for the shy shamus with minimal bladder control? Only the sandman knows, and he’s not talking. He’s chuckling, though.

10:32 am · May 22, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

NOIR BLURB #PulpFiction A friendly drunk shows up dead, and the party’s just beginning. The mean streets of Pasadena spew venom on private eye Prel Turpin as he unravels a classy dame and pays for it with a ceremonial bludgeoning. Could this turn out to be the

10:32 am · May 22, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

dada HOMILIES #dada In the land of broken emeralds the barber stands alone. To duel with an invisible sword is to invite a friend to dine. The only thing worse than killing a horse is finding a marble.

10:37 am · May 21, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

Dickens on the jaw. Both writers sprawled on the canvas, and the contest was declared a draw. The two of them were seen later that night in a pub, sobbing and singing.

9:43 am · May 20, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

through 8 were much the same, what with the Dane weeping and the Englishman chatting. However, in the midst of Round 9, in response to overhearing a cutting remark from the crowd about his knobby knees, Andersen fell forward weeping in grief, and his giant head clipped

9:43 am · May 20, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

gratification, Andersen covered up, sobbing on the ropes. Dickens became so verbose that he failed to deliver a single blow, and the round ended with Andersen retreating to his corner weeping. The crowd booed the lack of action, causing Andersen to burst into tears. Rounds 2

9:43 am · May 20, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

ANDERSEN/DICKENS FIGHT RECAP #Literature At the bell, the lanky Dane with the huge head, hands and feet burst into tears. Dickens advanced with a left jab, commenting, “Hans, I thoroughly enjoyed ‘The Little Mermaid’.” Bursting into renewed tears, this time tears of

9:43 am · May 20, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

2 of 5 stars to The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho goodreads.com/review/show/55…

11:36 pm · May 19, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

THE VENISON POEM #poem #whimsy Venison is good to eat Especially if you’re fond of meat Even if you’re vegetarian You’d like it better than random carrion

10:33 am · May 19, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

pleasant kangaroo smiled enigmatically and played an Aussie lament on her slide trombone. An ostrich was later found drowned. Moral: When drowning an ostrich, it is wise to play a trombone.

10:38 am · May 18, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

THE PLEASANT KANGAROO #Dada #fable The pleasant kangaroo hopped to the assistance of a fallen wombat. In gratitude, the wombat donated an undisclosed sum to The Happy Walrus Foundation, which funneled the money into contraband krill. On learning of this development, the

10:38 am · May 18, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

4 of 5 stars to Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel goodreads.com/review/show?id…

10:31 am · May 18, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

ENTS IN TRAINING #Tolkien This is an image captured from the documentary film, ‘Young Ents in Training’. Here the young ents are running the hill. They do twenty reps, up hard, down easy, before moving on to leaping practice. pic.twitter.com/Ba2DfjgPwP

10:27 am · May 17, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

LITERARY NEAR MISSES #whimsy The Young Man and the Sea David Tinfield The Maltese Hawk The Sound and the Furry

10:23 am · May 16, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

THE RICH #cartoon “Frankly, Mother, I’d prefer not to hear about the time you went skinny-dipping with Fatty Chalfont.” pic.twitter.com/U3UKoYiAJy

10:04 am · May 15, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

LIMERICK #Limerick An exceedingly seedy young seed was determined to learn how to read She started with Joyce, an unusual choice for a seedy or unseedy seed

10:38 am · May 14, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

of Babe Ruth. Carved elk? Face of Babe Ruth. This particular carving of a Native American with the face of Babe Ruth may be found on the sidewalk where Strangler Pete met his doom, Phil Sessions.

9:40 am · May 13, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

OBSESSED WOODCARVER #story #dada Once there was a woodcarver who went by the name of Strangler Pete. His real name was Deborah LaMaze. Anyway, to get to the thing about him, he was obsessed with Babe Ruth. Every piece he carved had the face of Babe Ruth. Carved elephant? Face pic.twitter.com/d9KmQh35lX

9:40 am · May 13, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

ON CHOOSING WALLS FOR A FORT #Dada High or low? Fat or thin? Walls should be high enough to remove all possibility of your enemies simply stepping over them. They should be of a thickness not susceptible to collapse when lightly tapped.

10:36 am · May 12, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

DON’T ASK A LOON FOR DIRECTIONS #dada #nonsense “More courtly than sagacious, the lemmings of Carpathia often distribute clan-themed blueberry muffins to indigent cormorants,” replied the loon when asked if it knew the way to the train station. pic.twitter.com/2S6omwC7Tq

10:37 am · May 11, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

IMMENSE EGO #wordplay #Dada His ego was so immense that he had all the eucalyptus trees on his estate ripped out and replaced with mecalyptus trees.

10:30 am · May 10, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

CARTOON #cartoon “No, flowers. See? It’s only my granddaughter, not an emissary from the evil vegetarian vampire root sucker.” pic.twitter.com/lpXGqtjKPv

10:33 am · May 9, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

JUNGLE ADVENTURE #whimsy Up to my waist in the swamp, I struggled to pull the boat through the glut of reeds while cursing the leeches attached to my legs straining to gain freedom from the powerful sinking mud suction. Meanwhile, I worried about my credit card debt. pic.twitter.com/I1jEk0l44H

10:27 am · May 8, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

4 of 5 stars to A Day Late and a Dollar Short by Terry McMillan goodreads.com/review/show/55…

9:34 pm · May 7, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

AD #dada BURGUNDY HAND SCARVES! formed in client-free tubs using absolutely no gelatin (well, a little) Buy 2 for the price of a fine cured ham! MAKE A STATEMENT OF STYLE AT YOUR NEXT BAIL HEARING Savor the envy of your therapist

10:29 am · May 7, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

CHARLIE CHAPLIN LIE #lies #dada When Charlie Chaplin traveled incognito to work on oil derricks in the desert, he went by the name of B. Tipton Stallworthy, Alice Roosevelt, Rollo Face, Pheasant Ramone, Just Plain Ken, Minnesota Flynn, Chirp Halfbrain, Stanley Krafchow, or Frodo. pic.twitter.com/C526y8gBtJ

9:41 am · May 6, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

4 of 5 stars to Serpico by Peter Maas goodreads.com/review/show/55…

7:09 pm · May 5, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

CARTOON #cartoon “The final will be optional. You may take the test or leave $1000 in cash in my mailbox. Hahaha …... ha.” pic.twitter.com/9nTwEO5KEg

10:35 am · May 5, 2023

Steve Shilstone

@steveshilstone

LIMA BEAN LOST ON THE NIGHT OF MANY MOONS #fairytale When crossing the red dune, the wizard failed to notice the magic lima bean falling from a tiny rip in his pouch. As a result, a needless beanstalk leading to nowhere grew on the red beach. pic.twitter.com/0jvDzIaY5E

10:39 am · May 4, 2023