Three Pals A coatimundi and a raccoon, cousins, and their best friend, a skunk, were somewhat worse for wear after a long raucous night of barhopping. They were weaving their way home to the woods, falling against trash cans and giggling fitfully. “I’d a showed that badger a thing or throo,” said the skunk, causing […]
The Car Payment and the Poet A car payment paced back and forth in the vastness of an abandoned steel mill while shouting obscenities and waving its arms. Calmly observing this behavior from her perch on rusty debris was a poet. “Hold fast to time!” called the poet. “What’s that supposed to mean?” said the […]
The Hearty Appetite The hearty appetite roamed the forest. “I am a bit peckish, don’t you know,” it said only because it liked to hear the sound of its own voice and not because there was anybody else at all around to respond. The appetite downed a few boulders, a small stand of pines, and […]
The Amazing Marshmallow The miniature marshmallow was stuck in a row of miniature marshmallows along the roofline of a gingerbread house. “This isn’t fair. I don’t want to be a decoration. I want to melt in hot cocoa and be sipped!” she complained. “Well, tough. You’re a decoration. Deal with it. We won second prize, […]
The Creek in the Gully The creek was sick and tired of tumbling down the same old gully day after day after year after decade. Oh, it supposed it was pleasant enough to swell and rush during storms. It didn’t really mind so very awfully much when the bushes bloomed yellow in summer and grew […]
The Biggest Tree The biggest tree stood twice as tall as any other in the forest. “I can see to Pittsburgh,” boasted the biggest tree. “Who cares?” piped up a young Douglas fir growing carelessly by the stream. “You’re fat.” “Why, you miserable little toothpick, I’ll …” With great effort, the biggest tree wrenched itself […]
The Angular Sock While the other socks were gossiping in the hamper, the angular sock eased under a pillowcase and brooded. No one liked her, not even her partner. The angular sock listened while her partner jibbered to the others about the angular sock’s shortcomings. Her stripe was flawed. Her toe had that awful angle. […]
The Brawl The Theory of Natural Selection came at E = MC Squared with a long looping right while shouting, “Take it back, you cur!” Sidestepping with the speed of light, E = MC Squared easily avoided the blow and snarled, “In your dreams, mutation!” Fortunately, Ode on a Grecian Urn happened to be walking […]
Universal Disagreement Two universes were arguing about a third universe, an acquaintance of theirs, while they waited in the diner for their orders to arrive. “I say she is,” said the tall universe. “I say she isn’t,” replied the blocky universe. “Is.” “Isn’t.” “What’s the problem, gents?” asked the waitress universe as with an expertise […]
The Frightened Dolphin Several bored juvenile dolphins were hanging about the kelp beds mocking eels when of a sudden Crazy Stanley came rushing up. “They’re after us! Quick! Follow me!” raved the wild-eyed dolphin. Melissa, she of the graceful fins, sighed and bumped Crazy Stanley gently on the jaw. “Stanley,” she said, “they’re clouds. Only […]
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
