To me, it is just one of those things that would be ideal for the Mask and Wig Society to give at the Golf Club, to raise money for the new chains for the half-brushes in the ladies’ locker room.
The Lampshade Murders
The Case of the Missing Elk
The Sign of Four Minus Three
The Handyman, Fiend of Sacramento
The train rushes along the track, puh tick puh tack puh tick puh tack. You, tranquil, serene, almost mesmerized, gaze at the scrubby sage brush flashing by outside. A discreet rap on the door of your compartment interrupts your train of thoughtless train thoughts.
‘Yes,’ you say.
The door opens. The conductor, hat in hands, says, ‘Pardon, sir. A bit of a problem. We were wondering if you, well, being who you are, could possibly help us with a young man, a passenger. You see, he’s gone a bit off and has barricaded himself in the baggage car with one or two hostages, we’re not certain of the number. He has these demands, you see. It’s frankly beyond us. Would you take over?’
You sigh and arise. ‘Very well. Lead on, my good fellow,’ you say. Before following the conductor out into the corridor, you don your fedora and strap on your gun.
puh tick puh tack puh tick puh tack
You listen without listening to the constant prattling of the conductor as he leads you through car after car. When he finally stops prattling and leading, he merely points to the next door and mouths ‘baggage car’. You nod and pass through the door. You are now between cars.
PUH TICK PUH TACK PUH TICK PUH TACK
There is a small window high on the baggage car door. You sidle up to it, gun in hand, and risk a peep inside. A young man, wild of eye, is nodding and staring at something just inside the door to your left. You open the door. There she is.
You die.
There were a couple of weeks there when they wore their ant headpieces to every party they attended.
When agreeing to appear in the Ziegfeld Follies, the Dolly Sisters insisted that the contract include:
a. a dressing up as ants clause.
b. a clause allowing the Dolly Sisters to have hovering dressing rooms.
c. a bear clause.
d. a sanity clause.
e. one page exclusively devoted to hundreds of dollar signs.
gar – any of various fishes that have an elongated body resembling that of a pike and long and narrow jaws
age – the part of an existence extending from the beginning to any given time
Put these two words together and the obvious result is of course garage, a shelter for automotive vehicles.
During his lifelong search for an adequate companion, Jasper Tubbs once mistakenly thought he had succeeded. On a page with two columns, one headed ‘positives’ and one headed ‘negatives’, he had ticked off 8 items on the ‘positives’ side and 1 on the ‘negatives’. On the ‘positives’ side: elbows rounded in a pleasing manner, neck more or less centrally located between shoulders, likes clams, knows Oliver Hardy’s mother’s maiden name, hates swimming and anybody who likes swimming, has a magnet collection, wears glasses held together with duct tape, prefers making demons in the snow to making angels in the snow. The lone item in the ‘negatives’ column: towels not monogrammed ‘its’ and ‘?’. The item in the ‘negatives’ column had been, alas, insurmountable, and Jasper Tubbs had moved on in his never ending quest to find an adequate companion.
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
