April 30, 2013
3 sisters were all entered in the same beauty contest, the Miss Carbon Miranda Pageant. Jane, the eldest, pictured in the middle there, hated the youngest sister, Prim, she’s on the left, with a passion matched only by her other sister, Grace, on the right. Jane and Grace may be likened to Cinderella’s step-sisters, Cinderella being represented by the lovely and talented Prim. Well, push came to shove, shove came to impressive roundhouse lefts and rights, and lo, behold, Prim stood alone, won the crown and wore proudly the tutti-frutti hat crown even after she married a local vine. Her sisters spent their remaining days, which numbered 4, gathering thorns.
April 29, 2013
Sweat fair flew from the brow of the Idle Hand, drenching the nearby sleeping crofters. A frenzy of whirl it displayed, galloping from yon to hither carrying and depositing loads of carrion and back again with fervently undue haste. For, you see, japing mockery had penetrated deep to the heart underneath its leathery hide and wounded it to the soul. Never again would any creature, great or small, doubt the Idle Hand’s unnecessary productivity. And so it went for three solid weeks and one or two of liquid until the Idle Hand fluttered in spasm to a gentle rest and spent its remaining years idling, as was fit and proper in the first place, don’t you know.
April 27, 2013
Yellow iris drenched in dew
look mighty nice. Agree, don’t you?
April 26, 2013
Mr. Newton’s favorite letter in the alphabet was ‘b’, as in ‘Be ye clear on that there point, George Mary?’
April 25, 2013
Oddly enough, Robert Newton:
a. didn’t claim his favorite letter of the alphabet was ‘r’.
b. and his parrot often performed duets with notable success in various singing competitions.
c. yearned to play Romeo.
d. somehow developed his pirate squint bobbing for apples.
e. insisted on umpiring college baseball games in full pirate get-up.
April 24, 2013
The triffid and the loon went out on the town
They pulled out all stops and painted it brown
The triffid had venison
like Alfred Lord Tennyson
The loon ate four chickens
to honor Charles Dickens
And when all was said and most of it done
they concluded, by Jove, they’d had lots of fun
April 20, 2013
Within the next five minutes Mr. Miller, lumbering heavily down the pitch in gallant response to an impossible call by Mr. Beeseley, was run out, after compiling a laborious 12.
Not only must murder advertise, it must also play cricket.
April 18, 2013
As her alter ego, Silver Flying Insect, Kate:
a. tended bar in a Santa Monica dive.
b. fought for truth, justice and Howard Hughes.
c. confronted the IRS.
d. outwitted Ginger Rogers.
e. made Stan Laurel cry.
