1. If I can’t find somebody better by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest, I’ll marry you Friday.
2. I’m so depressed. We might as well get married.
3. Let’s legalize this puppy.
I did not chide her
or deride her
when she tore my face asunder.
I did not blame her
or defame her.
In retrospect, I made a blunder.
All children, except one, grow up.
Well, yes. There you go. A pretty dang strong first sentence.
“Boy, I bet nobody shows up today, not even ‘Perfect Attendance’ Jones.”
‘a’ and ‘b’ are both correct. Laird was the one who sat on her while they waited for the men in white coats to come and cart her off. Her cries of “I’m sane, I tell you. Sane!” made no impression at all on the gathering. In fact, they resumed dining. Owing to his awkward subduing-the-hostess position, Laird was hand fed by the grateful nephew.
Laird offered the reaction above when asked by his hostess at a Thanksgiving dinner in 1942 to carve:
a. his initials into her forehead.
b. his initials into her nephew’s gullet.
c. his way through a barrier of ham to get to his dessert.
d. the “turkey”.
e. for her a wooden spaceship so that she could fly to Jupiter.
The loon hacked his way through the thick wall of entangled greenery and found Camelot abandoned, left to the tender mercies of the mole, the worm and the rusty broken stapler.
1. Instead of red herrings, blue dolphins.
2. Instead of assembling suspects in the drawing room for summation and accusation, have detective make speech standing alone in a rowboat while addressing an audience of imaginary penguins.
3. Instead of outwitting bumbling police inspector, be confronted and, yea verily, outwitted by a simpering dandy.
4. Instead of some dame whose legs would make the Taj Mahal weep, feature a robot with come hither eyes.
In the Hall of the Mountain King
a wedding did take place.
The loon was in attendance
and ate a lot of cake.
As the spectators drifted in, the drums began to beat, the hobby-horses to revolve, the showmen to shout, the marionettes to perform in their little theatre.
Pretty good sentence, eh? Who’d guess it was part of Madame de Beaumont’s delightful 1756 version of ‘Beauty and the Beast’?
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
