November 8, 2011
Homecoming in Venice
These are pleasant as a pheasant groping
through the trash bin looking for her fancy.
These are pleasant as a pheasant hoping
to land a metric ton or two or three.
–
Silly is the pheasant in her kitchen
making up a song about a muffin.
Silly is the creaminess she’s rich in.
Oily butter proves she is not bluffin’.
–
Happy glides the pheasant to her lover,
gilded head to horns with bales of barley.
Happy hides the pheasant under cover
planting kisses on her demon Harley.
–
The pheasant was a goodly beast of yore
and stalked down halls to still the mighty roar.
November 7, 2011
Remember in ‘The Birds’ when the crows begin to settle on the jungle gym next to the school house a few at a time and then the camera follows a single crow flying in and landing on the now teeming with crows structure? The loon recently witnessed something similar, but with leaves instead of crows, and …
… ran for his life when minutes after this second photo was taken the leaves flew from the fence in an angry cloud and attacked the unfortunate loon, cutting at his face with their serrated edges. Fortunately, the loon flung himself into the safety of a nearby bicycle repair shop, from where he was able to watch the leaves race off down the street in pursuit of a local realtor. When the coast was clear, the loon returned to base and reported the incident to his triffid. Triffy nodded and said, “So it begins. Worry not, you’ll be safe if you stick close to me and continue to act the sort of sap you are, but a bit more plantlike.” Taking the advice to heart, the loon has grafted a triffid leaf to his forehead and issues this warning. “Graft. Graft for life, I tell you!”
November 6, 2011
Divide an even number of loons into two equal groups. Have each group line up along opposite walls in the foundry. Joining hands, one group advances shouting, “Henry is a Northerner”, then retreats in silence. The other group advances shouting, “He’s not. He’s not. Fiddlefaddle.” Then they, too, retreat. The game continues, turn and turn, until everyone is exhausted or more than three loons have become catatonic, whichever comes first.
November 5, 2011
He swung his white smile round the room like a lighthouse.
A fine poetic offering in Over Sea, Under Stone.
November 4, 2011
“This wouldn’t be so bad if only we had gills.”
November 3, 2011
Amazingly enough, ‘f’ is the correct answer. “How can this be?” you wail. It’s quite simple. She tripped and fell into Timothy Spall’s prototype teleporter and, not knowing how to operate it, flung herself thither and thather for a week before accidentally launching herself back to Mr. Spall’s parlor.
November 2, 2011
Jane Horrocks, while conducting research for the role of Bubble in ‘Absolutely Fabulous’, accidentally:
a. set herself on fire.
b. swam from Miami to Havana.
c. piloted a zeppelin.
d. sang to a phalanx of Scandinavian archers.
e. scaled Mt. Everest.
f. did all of the above.
November 1, 2011
1. I’m innocent! Innocent, I tell you!
2. It was there a minute ago. You’ve got to believe me, I tell you!
3. No, no, not me. There’s nothing wrong with me, I tell you!
4. Turn back, I tell you! Turn back!
5. It won’t work, I tell you. It’s impossible!
6. Say, Boss, I swear I didn’t squeal. It wasn’t me, I tell you. Nooooooo!!!
October 31, 2011
This is my doctor. I tied him to this tree
in nineteen hundred and ninety-three.
And every single year since then,
why, yes, by gum, I’ve done it again.
He’s been a lot of Halloween fun.
(He died in 1981)
October 30, 2011
Dante Gabriel Rossetti
rhymes with paper bits – confetti
He didn’t deal with goblins, mister
He left that to his little sister
