June 7, 2011
“It’s time for jumping,” said the parson.
Everybody jumped.
Later, the congregation spilled outside, chatting and bustling to join the promenade flowing to the park. On arriving, the band members assembled and began to play. After offering three tunes one after the other without interruption, the bandmaster turned to address the crowd.
“It’s time for jumping,” he said.
Everybody jumped.
At the concert’s conclusion, the populace retired to the fairgrounds where the local nine engaged the neighboring town in a lively game of baseball. Along about the fourth inning, the umpire stepped in front of home plate and raised his arms to call for silence.
“It’s time for jumping,” he said.
Everybody jumped.
The day wended its way to a conclusion. By the way, the local nine prevailed, 8-5. At the boardinghouse, the landlady stood at the head of the table and made the expected announcement to her tenants.
“It’s time for jumping,” she said.
Everybody jumped.
And all through the town in every dwelling, high and low, similar scenes took place. Another day survived. Another day of the menace kept at bay.
Everybody slept.
June 6, 2011
Once upon a white canary –
When the moon was really scary –
Came a phantom knocking, knocking –
Knocking on my golden tooth.
Snap and snarl, I bit and slashed him –
Awkwardly I gashed and bashed him –
Reeling down and moaning, moaning –
Ghoul! I found most horrid truth!
June 5, 2011
1. Gee, that’ll be swell.
2. I can’t go on, I tell you.
3. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
4. Say, you’re all right.
June 4, 2011
His laughter was the faintest icy sprinkling of sound against the vast dark earth.
Why? Because he was shrinking, man.
June 3, 2011
“It’s the mother lode all right. It burped me.”
June 2, 2011
Lord Young, the Pekinese typesetter, took careful aim at the gorilla, favored pet of his former mistress, Dame Agatha Christ-Owens-Jones, Ltd.
June 1, 2011
Oh, I remember Samantha fair,
the girl with ravens in her hair.
How they got there? Who can tell?
Not James K. Polk or A. Graham Bell.
Oh, I remember Samantha fair,
the girl with ravens in her hair.
And when they carried her off in flight,
I was the one who stole her kite.
May 31, 2011
When crossing the red dune, the wizard failed to notice the magic lima bean falling from a tiny rip in his pouch. As a result, a needless beanstalk leading to nowhere grew on the red beach. True, it became a tourist attraction of sorts. There is that.
May 30, 2011
The Queen of Hearts is going to be frightfully angry.
May 29, 2011
Seconds later, the elephant discovered the loon’s hiding place and administered to him a severe beating about the head and shoulders with her trunk.
