March 10, 2011
Brave Elwin, The Thracian Iconoclast, hung from the battlements. Losing his grip, he fell to his death. All of his dominions, castles and fleets of trading card vessels passed to his brother, Cautious Reginald, The Thracian Hermit. Reginald, however, refused to emerge from his cave, and so the vast wealth was overseen and later plundered by Frozen Greg, The Thracian Common Law Ice Cream Vendor. Greg was melted by Diabolical Helen, The Thracian Mender of Cowls, and she lived wealthily ever after.
March 9, 2011
Shocking, but true. Alison Stovepipe and her talking elk, Bruno, were cheated out of the recognition due to the stovepipe hat inventor. In those times, women and elks weren’t allowed to do anything. So it came to pass that Alison’s husband was given full credit for the invention. A rum go any way you slice it, I say.
March 8, 2011
The stovepipe hat was developed by:
a. Henry Stovepipe
b. Alison Stovepipe
c. a cool guy living under a bridge
d. Thomas Jefferson
e. an elk
answer to be revealed tomorrow
March 7, 2011
Marsha descended the ruined stairs and disappeared through an invisible curtain into the Zone of Illusion. There she confronted her deepest fear, a disembodied body wearing the uniform of a Napoleonic mouse. Surviving this encounter with most of her limbs in tact, she hopped to the Mall of Illusion and thought she purchased a bucket of cow removal equipment, but it turned out to be an unfrocked priest. Peckish, she ordered french fries at the Fast Food of Illusion and burned her tongue when she was served french fires instead. Still willing to live there forever, she asked a bartending apricot where she could find gelato. When informed that gelato was banned in the Zone of Illusion, she left in a huff, parked it near the invisible curtain, and returned with some disappointment to this dimension, where, thank God, we still have gelato.
March 6, 2011
1. use leftover lasagna as a poultice
2. arm wrestle a stamp press
3. jump out from behind a polar bear and yell, “Surprise!”
4. flaunt your hula hoop prowess while wearing a tutu at a NASCAR event.
March 5, 2011
No man knows till he has suffered from the night how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning can be.
What a great name Bram Stoker is. Even backwards. Rekots Marb, attorney at law. Rekots Marb, cattle baron.
March 4, 2011
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I hatched here. It seems so much smaller now.”
March 3, 2011
This is the hill of Jack and Jill.
The well is right behind me.
I stumbled myself, a clumsy elf
and cracked my crown on an oak tree.
Drat, I tell you! Zounds!
March 2, 2011
Before settling on Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain seriously considered four alternatives. They were:
1. Tom Carpenter
2. Tom Accountant
3. Tom Tobacconist
4. Tom Riverboatcaptain
He was all set to use #4 when Livy pounded some sense into his head.
March 1, 2011
Today is launch day for ‘The Carven Flute’ at http://www.wildchildpublishing.com. In respect, the loon steps aside for the nonce.
