February 17, 2019
Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension have produced the ghost of someone named Phil Silvers for this weeks 3 Question Interview. Mr. Silvers, were you a pirate?
Ghost of Silvers: Whadda ya mean a pirate? Where did they get this guy?
Loon: I was informed that you were a top banana. I wondered if that was some sort of pirate. What else could it possibly be?
Ghost of Silvers (grabs Loon by back of neck, pulls him forward): Come closer, pal. Try to focus (slaps Loon on cheek). Focus (slap). Focus (slap). You got it now? (Loon nods.) Then forget it (slap).
Loon (visibly shaken): What is happening?
Ghost of Silvers: For this I left the gates of pearl? (flies away)
Loon (swooning): I was …
February 15, 2019
She regretted paying the sorcerer for that glimpse into the 21st century.
February 14, 2019
Phyllis reacts when her unveiled Valentine turns out to be:
a. Hitler.
b. a churning mass of vipers.
c. a rhinoceros.
d. a glimpse of the future.
February 13, 2019
“Well, lop off my arms and call me Venus.”
“Well, get out the razor and render me hairless.”
“Well, dip me in vinegar and call me salad.”
February 12, 2019
the birthday of charles darwin is a many splendored thing
like rattlesnakes and barkeeps and a random drunken king
the birthday of charles darwin is a time to sit and muse
on the prospect of going shopping for a brand new pair of shoes
happy birthday, charles
February 10, 2019
Loon: What a privilege it is to welcome Thomas Hardy to this week’s Celebrity Ghost 3 Question Interview. I can’t help but ask if you were related to Stan Laurel. Were you related to Stan Laurel?
Hardy’s ghost: Not in the least. Why don’t you ask me something sensible?
Loon: Too bad about Laurel. I am told you made up stories about somebody named Tess and somebody named Jude. Wouldn’t Penny and Alan have been better name choices?
Hardy’s ghost: Possibly.
Loon: Finally, did you ever attend a 3 Ring Circus?
Hardy’s ghost: Day in and day out for the duration of my existence.
Loon: Thank you and good-bye.
(Loon inexplicably pirouettes from the room. Hardy’s ghost flutters a ghostly tie and fades.)
February 8, 2019
Her Daddy would not buy her a bow-wow.
