LIST
December 7, 2016
On this oat parchment page is a complete list of honest high government officials.
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THE PARSONS PLAN
December 6, 2016
When the parsons gathered to exchange blows, it rained on Hanley’s farm. Hanley was away in the city shopping for cutlery. When he entered the emporium, Norman Cole, 18 miles from the city, 6 miles from Hanley’s farm, and 42 miles from where the parsons were gathered to exchange blows, began to climb the ladder, hauling a bucket of tar to the roof of his bride-to-be’s blast furnace. Diamond Helen Carst, the bride-to-be in question, sat at her desk, musing about June Socket’s disappearance. June Socket, Diamond Helen Carst’s best friend, wandered in a foreign land, a victim of amnesia induced by Shandrar, the Boise Mystic. Shandrar, the Boise Mystic, chuckled at his image in the mirror, knowing full well that his domino plan of parsons, Hanley, Cole, Carst, and Socket was at that very moment playing out successfully in locations near and far. And when the phone rang moments later, he answered it. ‘The pontoons have been removed,’ said a voice. Triumphant, Shandrar raised a glass to toast himself and victory. Far away, the parsons came to their senses, confused and bruised.
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TO SKATE OR NOT TO SKATE
December 5, 2016
RETREAT
December 4, 2016
A SENTENCE BY SHIRLEY JACKSON
December 3, 2016
I was afraid that they might touch me and the mothers would come at me like a flock of taloned hawks; that was the picture I had in my mind – birds descending, striking, gashing with razor claws.
-from the pen of the jolly optimist Shirley in We Have Always Lived In The Castle
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THE BET AND JOAN KWIZ ANSWER
December 2, 2016
The car was later found abandoned and missing its hood ornament on the sands of Will Rogers State Beach.
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THE BET AND JOAN KWIZ
December 1, 2016
Ten minutes after this publicity photo shoot was completed:
a. there were bits of torn red velvet and tufts of fur and a few drops of blood scattered about.
b. Joan and Bet went to dinner, Joan to Lawry’s, Bet to The Brown Derby.
c. both manikins were returned to cold storage.
d. someone stole the car.
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A FAREWELL TO NOVEMBER
November 30, 2016
o leaf
i remember your last dance of life
it was a rumba, i clearly recall
o tree
how you swayed in the blustering wind
i, too, have been often that drunk
o world
you twist on your axis just so
like a pigeon confused by bells
pealing from numerous hells
farewell
november
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LEAVES DEFIANT IN THEIR FINAL STAND
November 29, 2016
THE RED RED BERRY
November 28, 2016
Once in a far off land there lived a foolish simpleton. This was most unfortunate, for the foolish simpleton was also the King. On a day not unlike others, he called his advisors into the kitchen and forgot why.
‘Well, we are gathered,’ he said, casting about in the vast empty cavern of his mind for something to say. Surprisingly, he caught a thought. ‘I know that I am the smartest person in the world and the most handsome, but am I the richest? Advisors, advise me. What can I do to become the richest?’
‘You’re so handsome. You’re so smart,’ mumbled the advisors all in a mash, not knowing what to add, each of them being nearly as simple and foolish as their King.
‘Here’s what you must do, oh smart and handsome,’ cried a voice from behind the throne, and Lemon Bright, the lowest servant, stepped from out of sight into sight. ‘Where the red red berry grows, and on the green green holly it snows, there if you choose correctly, you will be the richest directly.’
Lemon Bright, the lowest servant, smiled and nodded at the King. The King leaped from the throne and shouted, ‘I’ll go at once. Bring my best horse and a spare.’ And in no time at all, the King thundered across the drawbridge riding his best horse followed by a spare. Lemon Bright in the Great Hall disappeared into thin air. She had work to do, being not at all in fact the lowest servant, but instead a most playful and clever sorceress.
The foolish simpleton King plunged heedlessly through drifts of snow, falling and flailing time and time again. The spare, discouraged, wandered back to the castle. Lemon Bright quickly conjured a hedge of green green holly dappled with red red clusters of berries to spring up directly in front of the King before he had time to be thrown by his best horse into a stream and drowned.
‘Ha ha, see how smart I am,’ said the King. ‘Now I will choose correctly because that’s how smart I am.’
He hesitated not at all and reached to pluck what he considered to be the red red reddest of the red red berries. Foolish simpleton, he was wrong, and the penalty for being wrong was clever and playful. The foolish simpleton King was now a jingle bell on a jester’s cap, and he remained thus and so forever.
Of course, it must be noted that none of the red red berries plucked would have made the King the richest fool in the world. Such was the playfulness of Lemon Bright.
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
