HIT BY PITCH Throw it at me. Go ahead, throw it at me, you god damn pizzaface. I’m ready. Come on. Come on. Bring it. THUNK! Shitassdamn. Hell. Okay. Okay. I put the bat down. See? I put it down gently. Lay it on the ground like a little sleepy baby. See my smile? I’m […]
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its leathery hide, wounding it to the soul. Never more would any creature dare doubt the Idle Hand’s productivity. And so it went for three solid weeks and one liquid week until the Idle Hand fluttered to rest gently and spend its remaining years idling and acting as a playground
THE IDLE HAND #dada #flashfiction Sweat flew from the Idle Hand's brow, drenching the nearby sleeping crofters. In a frenzied whirl, it galloped from yon to hither carrying and depositing loads of carrion. For, you see, constant mockery had penetrated deep to the heart beneath
MARK TWAIN HANDBILL SAMPLE #MarkTwain A SPLENDID ORCHESTRA is in town, but has not been engaged. A DEN OF FEROCIOUS WILD BEASTS will be on exhibit in the next block. MAGNIFICENT FIREWORKS were in contemplation for this occasion, but the idea has been abandoned.
tossed the ladle aside and belched long and loud. Thereupon Giles flew into a rage, made a nest there, and peered out, slit of eye, bereft of dreams, at a cruel world where resplendent toads live in luxury and intergalactic steamboat inventors are treated like unwanted viscera.
THE RESPLENDENT TOAD #dada #flashfiction The resplendent toad ladled gravy into his maw with a diamond studded silver dipper veined in gold. Giles Tumbleberry despaired. Why had he been rejected? After all, hadn’t he and he alone invented the intergalactic steamboat? The toad
So the lifelong freeloading leech doesn't pay his hate rally venue bills. What a shock. #POTUS45
5 of 5 stars to A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole goodreads.com/review/show/30…
ALBERT EINSTEIN #dada Albert wore this coat: whenever he went to get a haircut. on a secret mission to Tashkent. when Lucky Lindy took him for a sky ride. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. because it made him feel like a happy little owl. pic.twitter.com/1RlfYqmSnF
preened. Snaff! The bass chewed thoughtfully. ‘Yes, by jove, lovely and delicious,’ he said. Moral: Fish wearing a straw hat? Just walk away, no questions asked.
the sky. She shouted it to a huddle of distant crakes. She offered her high opinion of herself to a sea bass wearing a straw hat and strolling for a bit of fun on the beach. The bass paused, doffed his hat. The lovely pink posed and
THE PINK #dada #fairytale #flashfiction Upon a once time there dwelt in a queendom by the sea the loveliest of pink flowers. And she knew it, flaunted it, snobbed it endlessly up and down the strand. ‘Am I not lovely?’ she cried out to ptarmigans and flying whales cruising by in
MAX SHRECK #dada Max didn’t entertain often, but when he did, oh my. had a long and lucrative career as a prosecuting attorney. originally hailed from Jupiter. wrote two novels, but ate them before they could be published. really drank a lot of coffee. pic.twitter.com/tz9bfqgShF
LOUISE BROOKS #dada After her movie career, Louise spent several years laboring as a stevedore in Liverpool lived for a time with a couple of gorillas in the mist became quite a talented thimblerigger opened a hat shop in Ames, Iowa painted herself blue and hopped back and forth pic.twitter.com/dYmjn5MQ8q
SUSAN B MEETS MOTHER GOOSE #dada #poetry Susan B Anthony Susan be slick Susan jumped over the candlestick Her dress caught fire She ran to the lake She plunged right in and later ate cake
4 of 5 stars to King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild goodreads.com/review/show/30…
noise, silence, noise, noise, silence, noise, silence, silence, atomization, star formation, and a new chance for secret robots to make nice with eternity.
following tapestry of speech: “And the flaccid tentacles of night descend Entrusting our hope to a writhing dawn Oh when, oh where, oh why, oh what Can truth be leveraged under its oily sheen? And what about the moth? Oh, the moth and I despair.” Silence followed. Then
MAKE NICE #dada #flashfiction Spice Island Hal sashayed into the local beverage dispensary and partook of nectars sufficient to render him incapable of movement. Whereupon Portugese Nell Pasternak, entwined overhead in a complicated arrangement of chandeliers, brought forth the
Constitutional lawyers agree - This ignorant buffoon is hella impeachable. #POTUS45
THE FUTURE OF MELTED SPOONS #dada #poetry melted spoons became thistles all because of nuclear missiles
THE REBELLIOUS POEM #dada #poetry i refuse to rhyme june with that night sky disc or that other word for melody i won’t do it and don’t even think about asking me to rhyme it with a common kitchen utensil standing in for the concept of cuddling
THE DARK DAYS OF YESTERNOON #dada A Quarto in 3 Acts Part 1: The Mohawk Invasion Part 3: Desperation in Quicksand POSTSCRIPT – The Crawling Beeves Lament Exit Music – The Mambo King’s Apothecary Reentry Music – Mud Spatter Part 2 – The Empty Quill Frozen yogurt – Yes
4 of 5 stars to Kindred by Octavia E. Butler goodreads.com/review/show/29…
dimly folds the random night darkly on its hinges nevermore will things be right nevermore will things be right
THE STAINED ALBATROSS #dada #poetry dimly folds the random night darkly on its hinges nevermore will things be right unless the mermaid cringes oh, my friend the albatross hiding in the grotto fangs my soul and urges me to drink until i’m blotto
Q/A WITH NIXON'S GHOST #dada Did you see the movie ‘She’? Ghost: Yes, and even though it was teeming with Commies, I enjoyed it very much. I once ate a salad with Nigel Bruce. Really? Ghost: Yes. What kind? Ghost: California, of course, with plenty of tomatoes and oranges.
JAMES M CAIN SENTENCE #noir When she spoke, it was in a whisper that sounded like a snake licking its tongue in and out. - from The Postman Always Rings Twice
I’m not sure. Moving on, how do you go about writing a play? Mae's ghost: It ain’t the writer in the play that’s important. It’s the play in the writer What do you mean? Mae’s ghost: Bein’ dead ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Mmm, come on over when you croak (Mae dissipates)
GHOST INTERVIEW - MAE WEST #dada Welcome to the writer I consider to be the finest playwright in American history. I’m honored, Ms. West. Mae’s ghost: Mmmm, thanks, honey, but honor has nothin’ to do with it. What do you mean? Mae’s ghost: I always mean what I say. Get me?
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