January 23, 2013
The Fashion Statement rolled a last cigarette with one hand held aloft in defiance. The onlookers murmured heartfelt admiration. The Captain of the Guard removed his sunglasses and wept openly, cruelly. The order was given, and the Squad advanced with outstretched plume feathers. The tickling commenced, and The Fashion Statement writhed on the ground in […]
January 8, 2013
Spice Island Hal sashayed into the local beverage dispensary and partook of nectars sufficient to render him incapable of movement. Whereupon Portugese Nell Pasternak, entwined overhead in a complicated arrangement of chandeliers, brought forth the following tapestry of speech: “And the flaccid tentacles of night descend Entrusting our hope to a writhing dawn Oh when, […]
December 25, 2012
The festivities were well under way. The Punch bowls sloshed. Conversation clattered and banged and rustled. The Lemon Drop was passed out drunk in the kitchen and in danger of being stepped on by the staggering reindeer. The Pool Cue splashed giggling from one end to the other, spitting a stream of water toward the […]
November 6, 2012
Beak Rampart flexed his thigh. That’s all it took. The waters surrounding The Great Stone of Dismay receded along with the hairline of a prominent psychologist. A river of throttled gazelles spewed forth from Hell. The land slid, causing winning. Oh, yeah, there was a cloud, too.
August 20, 2012
The Chapter Three Snowman sidles his sinister way into Chapter Five. He works along the corridor and slips through the door into the maintenance engineer’s closet. All right, janitor’s. There, I’ve said it, and I’m not sorry. The snowman empties the ammonia jug of ammonia, not a big surprise, and fills it instead with talcum […]
August 5, 2012
The creeper of the night shook his shaggy arms and clenched his shaggy fists. From the shelter of the dense hillside wood he glared down at the distant campfires scattered about the plain. Soon enough the descending darkness would be terribly shattered. And the creeper of the night would be fed.
July 18, 2012
The red glove yearned with all her being to perform a dastardly deed. In fact, the word ‘dastardly’ danced about in her mind through all her waking hours. She wasn’t all that perfectly clear on what it meant, but she knew a certain amount of nastiness was involved. For instance, when dining one evening with […]
July 3, 2012
A mandarin gets stuck on a coal barge. You phone the police. A headless egret flies by. You duck into Spencer’s Gym and go a few rounds with Mushy Callaghan. A wild tangle of vines writhes down the middle of the street. You stagger home, all the while dodging chunks of falling concrete. Corn grows […]
July 1, 2012
The pleasant cloud drifted about in search of a parade to rain on. Foiled, it began to churn in a vigorous dance of rage. Just then, a raven wearing a top hat flew by. The cloud, snarling, launched a bolt of lightning ravenward. A high fiendish laugh of glee accompanied the deceased raven and singed […]
