SMILE

August 18, 2014

Conrad was so happy. He had 200 teeth. He shed them every winter and made a Christmas wreath.

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THE EVILEST ROBOT – A POEM

July 29, 2014

the evilest robot of them all isn’t so very awfully tall but there never is the slightest doubt at the droop of an eyelid your spleen’s ripped out

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DAISIES

July 8, 2014

Daisies, daisies, give me your answers, do. Do you want fries with that and chocolate milkshakes, too?

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CROON MOON JUNE

June 1, 2014

on the first of june i croon a tune by the light of the moon in my giant spittoon

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LIONS ARE DANDY

May 24, 2014

The lions are dandy at this time of year. They’re scouts for the triffid invasion, I fear.

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NOT ABOUT FISH

May 21, 2014
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This here rhyme is not about fish. Rather it’s all about making a wish. Oh moon, or sun, or any old star Up there above me, please fix my car. Thanks in advance. I’ll be in the bar.

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THE NIGHTMARE MICE

March 16, 2014
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Beware of the nightmare mice No, they are not very nice They catch and squeeze doves with their creepy white gloves Their bodies are crawling with lice

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POEM WITH ZAPPER

February 18, 2014
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I’ll write a poem today to rhyme in the usual way I’ll end with a capper an odd little zapper Oh, how the moon clenches its fist!

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SONG LYRIC

February 11, 2014

There is a steamboat in my head, If you remove it, I’ll be dead, So you had best just let it be, While I dance with my manatee.

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SONG OF THE INTROVERT

January 13, 2014
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A few things about me you should know The moment I arrive I’m eager to go I’m plotting ‘Good-bye’ when I say ‘Hello’ That’s what about me you should know One more thing about me you should know If you ask me to travel, I’ll always say ‘No’ I abhor loud and bright, prefer soft […]

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