Anvil in a Lace Bootie

The neighborhood dinosaur has opted for the Elvis look this year.

LOCAL SPIDER PREPARES FOR HALLOWEEN Hopes to Frighten Children, Capture Flies Neighbors Cautious in Response Derelict Blames Government

She’s waiting for Halloween to demonstrate her power. How do I know she’s a she? She’s wearing that nice purple flower.

Here’s the shy pumpkin cheerleader hiding behind her pompons.

This is my doctor. I tied him to this tree in nineteen hundred and ninety-three. And every single year since then, why, yes, by gum, I’ve done it again. He’s been a lot of Halloween fun. (He died in 1981)

“My Granny made this house. Her real name is Betty Hawks. She nailed those ladder boards especially for me. She doesn’t use them. She flies up instead. She won’t be back until after Halloween. She promised to teach me about her broom then.”

This particular ghoul bat vampire is angry because: a. someone sat in her chair, ate her porridge, and slept in her bed. b. of princesses. Yeah, just princesses. c. she roots for the Pittsburgh Pirates. d. she’s heard one too many owls hooting in the night. e. her health insurance policy was suddenly, and for [...]