Today’s fall leavular post is brought to you by carbonated beverages positively loaded with every kind of sugar you can think of and a few you never even knew existed. Sore teeth? Swill our product around in your mouth for 60 seconds and, voila, no more pesky teeth. Also good for melting furniture and small […]
Remember in ‘The Birds’ when the crows begin to settle on the jungle gym next to the school house a few at a time and then the camera follows a single crow flying in and landing on the now teeming with crows structure? The loon recently witnessed something similar, but with leaves instead of crows, […]
Divide an even number of loons into two equal groups. Have each group line up along opposite walls in the foundry. Joining hands, one group advances shouting, “Henry is a Northerner”, then retreats in silence. The other group advances shouting, “He’s not. He’s not. Fiddlefaddle.” Then they, too, retreat. The game continues, turn and turn, […]
1. I’m innocent! Innocent, I tell you! 2. It was there a minute ago. You’ve got to believe me, I tell you! 3. No, no, not me. There’s nothing wrong with me, I tell you! 4. Turn back, I tell you! Turn back! 5. It won’t work, I tell you. It’s impossible! 6. Say, Boss, […]
This is my doctor. I tied him to this tree in nineteen hundred and ninety-three. And every single year since then, why, yes, by gum, I’ve done it again. He’s been a lot of Halloween fun. (He died in 1981)
Leaf Erickson Find the reddest leaf you can on a tree such as the one above. Pluck it. Pound it senseless in your favorite mortar with your favorite pestle. Praise result. Then scrape it into a thimble. Immolate. Stuff a two inch length of wet shoelace into thimble. Squish it around. Remove. Chew. This dish […]
‘May he have an accident shaped like an umbrella.’ The loon bows in homage to a dada grandfather quoted in ‘The Periodic Table’.
The loon maintains his brain in the form of a hat on a colorful pillow.
In a ZFL (Zombie Football League) game played last night pitting the Los Angeles Ghouls against the New York Undead, the ref signals touchdown when the ball and a few identifiable body parts of Undead running back Barry Graves land in the end zone.
Once upon a time in the west something happened. A disillusioned young sequence facilitator trembled in fury. Some useless piece of pond scum had eaten the last doughnut. The young facilitator smashed his head against the wall four times, upping the violence of the action with each repetition. He stepped back, took two deep breaths, […]
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
