THE MARIA MONTEZ KWIZ

March 28, 2019

Maria dressed like this because: a. she liked cobras. b. she was insane. c. she thought it might get her the part of Blanche Dubois. d. her other outfits were being reforged.

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THE FARSIGHTED SQUIRREL ENJOYS THE VIEW

March 27, 2019
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BRADLEY’S FEAR

March 26, 2019
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It was Bradley’s turn to drive, not that it made the least bit of difference. As pilot or as passenger, he battled terror daily upon entering the extended underpass on the way to work. He could think of no obvious rhyme or reason for the phobia. He considered it to be a simple case of […]

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THE MARTIAN CORNICKLES

March 25, 2019

At long last the creatures of Mars, the cornickles, made themselves known. Telepathic messages from the red planet arrived simultaneously in the minds of all human beings on the planet Earth. Unfortunately, the messages were delivered to Lapps in Japanese, to Finns in Xhosa, to Italians in Tibetan, etc. Therefore, only one Finnish anthropologist was […]

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WELCOME

March 24, 2019

Welcome to the plutocracy, where too much is not enough.

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AN OPERA SYNOPSIS

March 23, 2019

Trembellina Act 1 Scene 1 Trembellina Wafer, daughter of the Chapstick King, is reluctant to wed the barn owl attendant her father has chosen for her. She sings about it and leaves on a goat for America. The goat sings the famous ‘Burden Song’. Act 1 Scene 2 In an underground fortress, a chorus of […]

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THE JOHN C CALHOUN KWIZ ANSWER

March 22, 2019

Calhoun’s hair dominated wherever it went.

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THE JOHN C CALHOUN KWIZ

March 21, 2019

John C Calhoun’s hair: a. consisted of 0% hair and 100% wire. b. controlled the animatronic body beneath it. c. was a nervous wreck. d. dominated.

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PHILOSOPHICAL DIALOGUE

March 19, 2019

“Anger is often the mask of shame,” said the learned frog to the empty shampoo bottle. “But desire is the quotient of temptation over the availability of a parking space,” responded the bottle. “Nevertheless, shut up,” commented the frog.

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2 POEMS

March 17, 2019

1 A book of curses underneath the cow A jug of bread, a loaf of wine, and thou Beside me ranting in a state of bliss 2 twinkle, twinkle, great horned owl can you tell me, learned fowl if my hair is neatly combed or nested like a wild sea foamed

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