The bride who was once a turtle moved slowly down the hall and into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door, she paused and thought, blinking her eyes twice during the three minutes of subsequent silence. She sighed and reached for a lettuce leaf. She brought it to her mouth and consumed it, moving her jaw […]
Once upon a time a lackadaisical car dealership owner’s daughter traipsed into the woods hauling her wagon loaded with four 2 gallon jugs of brandy. First she met a wolf who threatened to read tax instructions at her. He was soon placated when the girl shared with him one jug of brandy. Continuing on her […]
Upon a once time there dwelt in a queendom by the sea the loveliest of pinks. And she knew it, flaunted it, snobbed it endlessly up and down the strand. ‘Am I not lovely?’ she cried out to ptarmigans and flying whales cruising by in the sky. She shouted it to a huddle of distant […]
The resplendent toad ladled gravy into his maw with a diamond studded silver dipper veined in gold. Giles Tumbleberry despaired. Why had he been rejected? After all, hadn’t he and he alone invented the intergalactic steamboat? The toad handed the ladle to Giles and belched long and loud. Thereupon Giles flew into a rage, made […]
The frog king and the frog queen lived quite happily in, on and under a garden green. For you see, they possessed everything their hearts desired. Centuries of collecting had crammed bowers in the garden and caverns underneath with a dazzling array of items. There were steak knives with handles of purest ash, a wind-up […]
The Pride of the Mounties saddled up and rode directly into the heart of Macy’s. Dismounting in Housewares, The Pride queried the nearest associate, a fetching lemur who was, in fact, in the act of fetching a boxed set of china from the stockroom. Following the unsuccessful querying, The Pride swung into the saddle and […]
The Fashion Statement rolled a last cigarette with one hand held aloft in defiance. The onlookers murmured heartfelt admiration. The Captain of the Guard removed his sunglasses and wept openly, cruelly. The order was given, and the Squad advanced with outstretched plume feathers. The tickling commenced, and The Fashion Statement writhed on the ground in […]
Spice Island Hal sashayed into the local beverage dispensary and partook of nectars sufficient to render him incapable of movement. Whereupon Portugese Nell Pasternak, entwined overhead in a complicated arrangement of chandeliers, brought forth the following tapestry of speech: “And the flaccid tentacles of night descend Entrusting our hope to a writhing dawn Oh when, […]
The festivities were well under way. The Punch bowls sloshed. Conversation clattered and banged and rustled. The Lemon Drop was passed out drunk in the kitchen and in danger of being stepped on by the staggering reindeer. The Pool Cue splashed giggling from one end to the other, spitting a stream of water toward the […]
The Leaf Queen had fallen on hard times, and what hard times they were. Forced to beg for scraps while wandering cold and ill-clothed, she went from village to village until at last she reached the sea. There she cried out for salvation over the impatient waves, and fair curling steady breakers they were, believe […]
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
