The frail mitten, threadbare, a hole in her thumb, unraveling at the wrist, staggered through the black night cruelty of an ice storm. Collapsing against the door of an inn, she managed three feeble taps before fainting away to slide down a smooth path of delirium toward death. Fortunately, a burly wren hopping by noticed […]
Once upon a time in the west something happened. A disillusioned young sequence facilitator trembled in fury. Some useless piece of pond scum had eaten the last doughnut. The young facilitator smashed his head against the wall four times, upping the violence of the action with each repetition. He stepped back, took two deep breaths, […]
Damian ‘Breaded’ Hunsacker tossed the car keys into the candy dish, distorting the adjacent dimension and disturbing the m&ms. His pocket handkerchief turned into a frog. Meanwhile, somewhere far across the galaxy, Alma Lafferty slipped on an oil slick in her garage. Falling heavily, she shattered her right wrist and her vow nevermore to use […]
On the morning of her wedding day, while her maid of honor put the finishing touches on her hair, Marie contemplated her future with Lars. Meanwhile, Lars … … was similarly occupied with thoughts of a lifelong partnership with Marie. Believe it or not, the wedding proceeded apace, and the couple remained married for 72 […]
One day Clyde leaned on his hoe instead of chopping at the weeds in the garden. Why? His wife, as was her habit, was off gathering string, and Clyde tended to laze and dream when not lashed from task to task by his wife’s long barbed tongue. “Help me, you great bullock!” cried a tiny […]
“It’s time for jumping,” said the parson. Everybody jumped. Later, the congregation spilled outside, chatting and bustling to join the promenade flowing to the park. On arriving, the band members assembled and began to play. After offering three tunes one after the other without interruption, the bandmaster turned to address the crowd. “It’s time for […]
Up to my waist in the swamp, I struggled to pull the boat through the damned glut of reeds, all the while cursing the leeches availing themselves of the opportunity to slime slither and attach, barnacle-like, to my nether limbs, which in their turn strained to advance by gaining freedom from the powerful sinking mud […]
Once upon a time there was a woodcarver who went by the name of Strangler Pete. His real name was Deborah LaMaze. Anyway, to get to the thing about him, he was positively obsessed with Babe Ruth. Every piece he carved had the face of Babe Ruth. Carved elephant? Face of Babe Ruth. Carved elk? […]
The pleasant kangaroo hopped to the assistance of a fallen wombat. In gratitude, the wombat donated an undisclosed sum to The Happy Walrus Foundation, which funneled the money into contraband krill. On learning of this development, the pleasant kangaroo smiled enigmatically and played an Aussie lament on her slide trombone. An ostrich was later found […]
At the bell, the lanky Dane with the huge head, hands and feet burst into tears. Dickens advanced with a left jab, commenting, “Hans, old boy, I thoroughly enjoyed ‘The Little Mermaid’.” Bursting into renewed tears, this time tears of gratification, Andersen covered up, sobbing on the ropes. Dickens became so verbose that he failed […]
RSS: Subscribe to
Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
