HISTORY
April 28, 2014
Way back 2 days ago this was the scene. Today not a trace of the white stuff remains.
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MAMA GAIA GETS ALL GUSSIED UP
April 26, 2014
THE SVENGALI KWIZ ANSWER
April 25, 2014
The ravens on set were extremely well behaved. Mesmerized, one might say.
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THE SVENGALI KWIZ
April 24, 2014
Taking on the role of Svengali, John Barrymore stayed in character by:
a. running amok through a local dairy.
b. hypnotizing ravens to do his bidding.
c. poking random strangers in the eye with his beard.
d. igniting small brush fires with his gaze.
e. beginning each day by eating a bowl of swan’s eyes.
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FRED DAFFODIL, PRIVATE EYE
April 22, 2014
Morning slapped me like a deranged walrus. My brain felt like it had been chopped and pureed by a band of angry aphids wielding barbed flails.
‘You’re an angel,’ I croaked when Wanda, my secretary, whose petals had seen the seedier side of the San Fernando Valley, poured a pitcher of gin down my face.
‘Freddy,’ she cooed, ‘you’re late for the stakeout.’
I nodded good-bye, almost losing my hammer deadened sense of balance and previous Tuesday’s lunch as I left the office.
The stakeout turned up nothing. And so, ever and alas, another day trampled into the vault of dusty uselessness here in the malevolent bowel I call home.
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – GOGOL
April 20, 2014
Loon: We have a writer I think I’ve heard of today for the 3 question interview, Mr. Nick Gogol. Tell me, Nick, is there a question you would like me to ask?
Gogol’s ghost: The Roman Nose Replacement saluted his inner thigh.
Loon: Did he?
Gogol’s ghost: Not really, but he should have.
Loon: Do you have anything final to add?
Gogol’s ghost: Da and Nyet, my traveling companion oat screen repairmen are basking in the other room.
Loon and Gogol’s ghost engage in staring contest for the next two hours. Neither wins because at the exact moment when the loon passes out, Gogol explodes.
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HENDERSON
April 17, 2014
Henderson rose from the chair, advanced to the center of the room, paused, thrust his right leg forward, and stood stock still for a time balanced in this peculiar manner.
‘I do this sometimes,’ he said before he returned to the chair.
His guests departed rapidly.
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TRICKSTER SENTENCE
April 15, 2014
Peaches Lamborghini delicately slipped the dagger between the ribs of the umbrella.
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
