June 9, 2013
Loon: Today’s 3 question interview victim, ha ha ha so to speak, is the very famous portrayer of Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Basil Rathbone. Tell me, sir, just what is a rathbone?
Basil Rathbone’s ghost: You jest, my dear fellow, but nonetheless, the question is one of interest. It has to do with a Mr. Charles Dodgson and a poem he once wrote which is entirely too complex for a simple explanation to be offered here. Please proceed, my good man.
Loon: Sherlock Holmes had a favorite musical instrument, the violin. Do you have a favorite musical instrument, the violin?
Basil Rathbone’s ghost: I find the violin nauseating. I prefer the simplicity and grandeur of the tuba.
Loon: Finally, oatmeal or pancakes?
Basil Rathbone’s ghost: Holmes was most definitely an oatmeal man. As for myself, I’ve not yet tasted anything to surpass a stack of buckwheat pancakes with a sufficiency of butter and maple syrup prepared for me once upon a time by Danny Kaye.
Loon: Thank you, Mr. Rathbone.
Basil Rathbone’s ghost: You’re entirely welcome, my fine fellow.
June 8, 2013
…for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis on on the beard the flames the tears the stones so blue so calm alas alas on on the skull the skull the skull the skull…
from Lucky’s speech in Waiting for Godot
June 7, 2013
Yes, it is a blessing that The Little Blind Legless Cat never made it into production.
June 6, 2013
Now that we know about his mom, let’s take the Jean Renoir kwiz.
Jean Renoir and Edith Piaf:
a. never dated seriously.
b. were the mixed doubles ping pong champions of France in 1938.
c. co-wrote a script, The Little Blind Legless Cat, which was thankfully never produced.
d. exchanged friendship lamps.
e. cheated at solitaire.
June 4, 2013
here might be flowers for your eyes to savor
or mayhap you’ll eat them to enjoy their flavor
such folly on your part would become far graver
for you see, they’re triffids, and nothing can save yer
June 3, 2013
Below is a photo of the famous film director Jean Renoir. Below the famous film director is a photo of a famous painting by the famous film director’s famous father, Auguste Renoir. The famous film director’s mother is one of the young ladies in the famous painting. Is she: a) leaning on the railing? b) playing with the little dog? c) seated between those two gentlemen?
Look closely at Aline there holding the dog. Obvious, eh?
June 2, 2013
Loon: I have been informed by the Lords of the 4th Dimension that today’s celebrity ghost here to answer 3 questions is a famous poet, though I’ve never heard of her. Anyway, may I welcome you to my humble hearth and ask you how you came by your unusual name, Edna St. Louis Missouri?
Edna’s ghost: You may and you may. My name, however, is not what you suppose. You may call me Vince.
Loon: Vince?
Edna’s ghost: Yes. That seems to be 3 questions. Adieu. (A red mist envelops the ghost, then dissipates, leaving emptiness where before there was ghostliness.)
Loon (looking around): Vince?
June 1, 2013
It was three months after she died that he first noticed the apple tree.
Thus begineth The Apple Tree, one of the most menacingly creepy short stories ever written.
May 31, 2013
Often appearing on the same vaudeville bill with Houdini was Weevil the Giant Insect. Little did the public know that Weevil and Houdini were one and the same. Weevil the Giant Insect’s act consisted of ballroom dancing with a lady selected from the audience, scuttling to a ragtime piano, and scurrying up the backdrop to exit.
