May 30, 2013
With the recent interview of Houdini’s ghost, it follows as paprika on chicken that there should be a Houdini kwiz.
Other vaudeville aliases of Erich Weiss besides Harry Houdini were:
a. Daffy Steptoe, the tap dancing violinist.
b. Herman Spore, songs and mayhem.
c. Dexter Bilge, the mountain man poet.
d. Darius Slide and his magic umbrella.
e. Weevil, the Giant Insect.
May 29, 2013
Approach ye not the bodyguard with its mane of stabbing quills
Attempt to engage the diva instead through her agent, Harland Hills
To bypass Harland would be foolish, something to be rued
For the bodyguard is quick to strike. Do you secretly long to be food?
May 28, 2013
This tulip excused itself from the bed. It needed a few moments on its own to reflect on the general condition of tulipkind. It returned to the bed not too much later, having taken up the firm resolve to enjoy itself and make merry with its fellows in defiance of the weather’s bullying whims.
May 27, 2013
The Bird of Hope despaired. The trash can overflowed. It was Monday. Garbage collection took place each Thursday. What to do. What to do. The Bird of Hope considered a variety of options and discarded all of them with a frustrated stamp of foot. Pacing back, and then forth, the Bird of Hope desperately flailed internally for a plan.
‘What’s up, friend?’ queried a passing robot.
‘Look. The trash. Isn’t it obvious? Geez,’ snarled the Bird of Hope.
‘Oh, trash. Overflowing, is it?’ commented the robot.
The Bird of hope rolled its eyes and withheld comment.
The robot clanked over to the trash, ate it, licked the can to sparkle clean with its rotating scour tongue, belched echo metallically, and moved on, leaving the Bird of Hope posed frozen, beak agape.
After a proper interval of time had passed, the Bird of Hope went to work, arriving some ten minutes late and saying ‘Don’t even ask’ to his secretary when he passed her to enter his office. The efficient secretary winked in collusion with the grinning robot outside her window.
May 26, 2013
Loon: What luck! I happen to be an expert on the life of today’s celebrity ghost, Harry Houdini. Mr. Houdini, or should I say Erich Weiss, is here to undergo the 3 question interview. Mr. Houdini, do you now believe that there is an afterlife?
Houdini’s ghost: Yes, and you needn’t call me Mr. Houdini. Oh Great Master will be fine.
Loon: Oh Great Master, what’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten since you died?
Houdini’s ghost: I would say … a popsicle. Yes, a popsicle, a red one.
Loon: And finally, Oh Great Master, is there one thing you’d like to tell all of us while you’ve got the chance?
Houdini: Sure. Why not? Let’s see. Oh, yes. Be kind to horses, but don’t trust them with your money.
Loon: Thank you, Oh Great Master.Words we should all live by.
(Houdini’s ghost sails off. The Loon is left alone, grinning.)
May 25, 2013
Hauled stark over the gunwale he breathes upward the stench of his green grave, his leprous nosehole snoring to the sun.
Genius, yes. To be read while dining, no.
May 24, 2013
She was sailing along on Moonlight Bay when of a sudden in a flash it came to her – moon, room, bunnies, mouse, everything.
May 23, 2013
Margaret Wise Brown wrote GOODNIGHT, MOON:
a. on a dare.
b. on a fishing trawler out of Newfoundland.
c. on a slow boat to China.
d. on a grizzly bear rug in Saskatoon.
e. on Moonlight Bay while sailing along.
May 22, 2013
going up hill is grand
with an extra lung at hand
if you must do with a paltry two
frequent rests are called for, it’s true
crawling on hands and knees
may prevent a cardiac seize
really it might be best
to remain at home and rest
May 21, 2013
Before heading off to work, this tree accessorized rather successfully, I think.
