Chester Conklin wasn’t really this tiny, but he was:
a. ticklish.
b. a renowned connoisseur of soup.
c. engaged for a short time to the Lady Known as Lou.
d. the first choice to play Rhett Butler, but had a conflicting obligation.
e. a Norwegian fish captain.
Lovely, what? Innocent, eh? That’s exactly what the triffids want you to think.
The Perfect Gift
Jim Darling was positively frantic and negatively charged over the looming impossibility of finding the perfect gift for his beloved. He pulled out his pocket watch and wound it so tightly that it exploded, sending shards of glass and metal into his forehead. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before? Thanks, exploding watch. A song on his lips, Jim Darling hurried from the office and sped on a line directly to the nearest steed barn, where he forthwith made a purchase.
On returning home, joy trickled down his forehead, mixing with the blood, when he noted the ecstasy displayed by his beloved on first catching sight of his gift. She threw the watch fob in his face and rushed to embrace and devour the great pink Clydesdale. Snip snap, not a hoof was left. Her bloody grin was all the reward he needed. He had indeed found the perfect gift.
The Misfit Lovers
They considered themselves outcasts, and rightfully so. Leftfully so, too. For you see, he was a loan wolf, scorned by his brethren and sistren. She was a lone shark, shunned by all other elasmobranch fishes. When they met on the sandbar, it was love at first nip. For you see, they fell into a reverie so smooth that both of them lost consciousness for several decades, and upon awakening, discovered themselves to be a long established happily married couple. Their single offspring, on land and sea, was the most valued product on the planet. For you see, their darling child was work.
Where is my brother?
Simple, but a stunner owing all to its placement in Homer & Langley
He never got over being forced to quit school and go to work in that blacking factory as a kid. Whenever he so much as glimpsed a tin of shoe polish, he would fly into a spittle flecked rage. His handlers would have to talk him down with praise of random characters from his works, sometimes mentioning the double play combination of Heep to Cruncher to Guppy.
Dickens’ favorite activity when visiting the United States was:
a. riding shotgun on a Wells Fargo stagecoach.
b. swimming in the Hudson River with porpoises.
c. laughing at Chicago.
d. dressing up as Queen Victoria and skipping down the street reciting randomly from Shakespeare.
e. arm wrestling circus clowns.
f. raging over shoe polish.
A gather of triffid food sighted by the loon
When informed of the gather, the triffid responds with some emotion.
Following the sting of tranquility, the triffid informs the loon that the prey falls into a mellow contemplative state as the frond of digestive envelopment descends.
Happy birthday, Chas the D
I perused Dave the Copp 2 times 3
Plenty of evidence, you gotta see
that I dig your stuff to the Nth degree
Here’s to you, talented dude
Grab a beer! Have some food!
RSS: Subscribe to
Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
