I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.
One of the better first sentences of a novel was brought to you by Ms. Smith in I Capture the Castle. To be sure, this is the same Ms. Smith who wrote The One Hundred and One Dalmations.
“If you want to reach the top in the lip balm game, gentlemen, you’ve got to be able to slug it out in the trenches.”
Ty Foat, the fastest man alive, settled into the starting blocks. To his left, Plodslow Heavyfoot did the same. To his right, Weakstarve Brokenankle was likewise occupied. Lesser entities in other lanes completed the field. The starter, wearing a silly straw hat, raised his pistol, paused dramatically, and fired. Ty was out like a shot, determined to reverse the result of his previous race, a race in which he had come fifth to three dead people and a woman.
Taking a kwiz demonstrates:
a. the proper way to tie a shoe.
b. imbecility.
c. a lack of morals, manners, sense, money, pancakes, etc.
d. knowledge of marzipan.
e. the Lady Beldon knee snatch.
The Steps of Hope,
bruised and battered,
shackled by bars of despair,
bleed pink,
bleed yellow,
bleed the tears of a bear.
Jowls Revenue and Pride Hassenpfeffer mused independently, Jowls somewhere in the Amazon basin, Pride somewhere inside a python. Surprisingly, they mused in similar veins.
I wonder if the rent boy forgot to walk my cheetah, mused Jowls.
I wonder if the rent boy forgot to exercise my ocelot, mused Pride.
Sadly, the rent boy had forgotten all about the cheetah and the ocelot. Instead, he bought a Kentucky derby and wore it constantly when he moved to an island off the coast of Argentina and wept for Eva Peron.
Does this tie make my eyebrows look militant?
The peasant wife had filled a plate with water, and laid flowers in it, their blossoms bordering the edge of the plate, while their stalks lay in the water; on the surface floated a large tulip leaf, and on it Tommelise might sit and sail from one side of the plate to the other, two white horse hairs having been given her for oars.
White horse hairs for oars are the perfect finishing touch to this delightful and charming picture.
“We were once young pathogens in love. What a crock that turned out to be.”
“The gods, as I see it, are wise, but in a stupid and undignified manner,” said the president of the Hal Jeffcoat Fan Club.
“You’ll get no argument on that from me. That’s for sure, twice written,” said the Grand Potentate of the Dick Drott Appreciation Society.
Brought to you by the Society of Obscure Former Major League Pitchers
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
