THE WOLFMAN COMETH
February 15, 2010
THE ROAD TO CRIME
February 14, 2010
Phil, Phil, dumb as a pill
tried to climb a mudslick hill
When he slipped for the umpteenth time
he resigned himself to a life of crime
Ray, Ray, dumb as a tray
tried to swim in a vat of clay
Stuck stock fast for the longest time
he resigned himself to a life of crime
Pam, Pam, dumb as a clam
tried to walk on a lake of jam
Sinking time after time after time
she resigned herself to a life of crime
Paul, Paul, dumbest of all,
outwitted by a billiard ball,
committed not a single crime,
devoted himself instead to mime
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SHORTCOMINGS AND TALLGOINGS
February 13, 2010
Shortcomings
1. Mickey Rooney entering a room
2. Toulouse Lautrec arriving on a train
3. Linda Hunt emerging from the crowd
Tallgoings
1. Kareem Abdul Jabbar exiting a room
2. Michael Crichton leaving on a train
3. John Kenneth Galbraith melting into the crowd
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CARTOON FRIDAY 37
February 12, 2010
“Well, Perkins, thanks to this little back to nature thing you suggested, you’re fired.”
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ARTURO TOSCANINI KWIZ
February 11, 2010
Arturo Toscanini once:
a. sparred with Jack Dempsey.
b. got his hand stuck in the bell of a french horn.
c. did a headstand on a speeding motorcycle.
d. killed a falcon with his slingshot.
e. ate an entire turkey, feathers and all, at one sitting.
f. did all of the above and more on March 23, 1922.
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BETWEEN PORTALS
February 10, 2010
When one jumps down the well on the fantasy world of Boad, one travels through this space to emerge in a pool located in the high Sierra beauty of Kings Canyon. Stay tuned for the children’s fantasy written by the loon’s sane persona soon to be published by Wild Child as an Ebook. Visit the support site at https://bekkaofthorns.com
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A LOON RECIPE TO BE AVOIDED
February 9, 2010
Fried Candy
12 kandy korn kernels
3 Tootsie Rolls
16 assorted gumdrops
8 large Milky Way bars
16 Hershey’s Kisses
5 cups lard
almond paste
Heat lard in pan until it becomes liquid and hotter than hell. Add candy carefully in the order listed above. After final Kiss, turn off burner. Allow lard/candy mixture to congeal overnight on top of the refrigerator. Garnish with almond paste and devour while poised near toilet for the sake of convenience.
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ERRATICA
February 8, 2010
1
A book of curses underneath the cow
A jug of bread, a loaf of wine, and thou
Beside me ranting in a state of bliss
2
a man a plan a canal panama
YO, BONK ON BOB NO KNOB, OY
3
Beneath the fallen rotten tree the village loony lies
With dashed out brains and bloody stains, the corpse took home first prize
4
twinkle, twinkle, great horned owl
can you tell me, learned fowl
if my hair is neatly combed
or nested like a wild sea foamed
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SNOW QUEEN VISIT
February 7, 2010
The Snow Queen visited again yesterday. I particularly enjoy her intricate branch work.
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THE BEAST WITH FIVE EYES
February 6, 2010
The beast with five eyes entertained lavishly, sparing no expense. Chandeliers hung from chandeliers. Each footman was issued a pair of Gatling guns and a gold-studded thermometer. Every member of the kitchen staff was frosted with live minks. On arrival, guests were dipped in a large vat of chocolate and ushered into the main ballroom to be licked by wolves. The 320 piece orchestra played requests, most of which were ‘Help me, I’m being licked by wolves.’ The evening’s successful culmination featured the beast with five eyes, a unicycle, a harp on fire, and two pixies.
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
