SUNNY SIDE UP

May 29, 2018

Comments Off on SUNNY SIDE UP

WORSHIPERS AND OBJECT OF WORSHIP

May 28, 2018

Comments Off on WORSHIPERS AND OBJECT OF WORSHIP

THE ATTACK

May 27, 2018

Comments Off on THE ATTACK

VAN GOGH TREE SKELETONS

May 26, 2018

Comments Off on VAN GOGH TREE SKELETONS

THE JIM AND LEW KWIZ ANSWER

May 25, 2018

This particular photo shoot did indeed turn out to be the most humiliating moment in both of their lives.

Comments Off on THE JIM AND LEW KWIZ ANSWER

THE JIM AND LEW KWIZ

May 24, 2018

Jim and Lew are both thinking:

a. I have never been more humiliated in my life than I am at this moment.

b. I will skate over the publicist’s throat.

c. Put the cash in my hand RIGHT NOW.

d. My legs are skinnier than his.

Comments Off on THE JIM AND LEW KWIZ

MILLIE

May 23, 2018

“I’m bored,” said Millie.

“Why don’t you take the elephant for a walk, or feed the cobras, or practice your potions, or cast spells? You like to cast spells. Go into the garden and cast spells,” suggested Millie’s mother, Brunna, hunched over the cauldron, busily stirring.

“What garden? We don’t even have a garden,” said Millie.

“Exactly,” said Brunna, winking and showing her tooth with a crooked smile.

“Oh,” said Millie, and she went outside to peer at the mud, the rocks, and the bent dead trees strangled with vines.

Three hours, eight spells, and fourteen potions later, a lovely garden surrounded the witchly hut home. Millie drooped back inside, casting her wand aside with a shrug and a sigh.

“I’m still bored,” she said. “Nothing ever happens.”

Brunna, without looking, tossed spangles from her cloak pocket at Millie. Millie was a rickety stick creature with soft yellow feelers.

“This is more like it!” thought Millie, and she wobbled stiffly and happily all around the garden.

Comments Off on MILLIE

GALAXIES

May 22, 2018

Comments Off on GALAXIES

I’M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP

May 21, 2018

Comments Off on I’M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP

BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE

May 20, 2018

Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension must think it is funny to send for the 3 Question Interview the ghost of a talking mule named Francis. I’m not insulted. A job is a job. At the end of the day, I get my platter of chick peas and a bed to sleep in. So on with the show. You look more like a horse than a mule. What is the difference between a horse and a mule anyway?

Ghost of Francis (chewing straw or something): …

Loon: Talking mule, yeah, right. Cat got your tongue?

Ghost of Francis (chews): …

Loon: Okay, okay, let’s get this over with. Was there ever a lefthanded hitting catcher who wore glasses?

Ghost of Francis: Yes. Carl Sawatski, for one.

Loon: I quit.

Ghost of Francis: As well you should.

Comments Off on BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE