MISS MURDSTONE
When she paid the coachman she took her money out of a hard steel purse, and she kept the purse in a very jail of a bag which hung upon her arm by a heavy chain, and shut up like a bite. – Charles Dickens has a go at Miss Murdstone in David Copperfield.
BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – SAMUEL GOMPERS
Loon: Today as guest on the 3 Question Interview, we have one Samuel Gompers, some sort of labor leader back in the day. Question 1. Mr. Gompers, did your really funny name ruin your childhood?
Ghost of Gompers: To the contrary. They called me Gorilla Gompers and trembled under my gaze.
Loon: Question 2. Your name rhymes with rompers, though. Isn’t that silly?
Ghost of Gompers: It rhymes with stompers, too. How silly is that? These boots are made for stomping.
Loon: Moving right along. Question 3. Did you own a skiff?
Ghost of Gompers: And a damn fine skiff it was. (Stomps off.)
Loon: Join me next week for another ghostly celebrity interview. (Burrows under the carpet.)
FORESTER
Forester trembled. Gathering courage, he erupted screaming from behind the barn and scampered sobbing across the meadow. Vaulting the fence with a nimble twist, he took time to review his day so far. Having reviewed it, he fell heavily, and a stab of pain ran up into his face all the way from his knee. He rolled in agony and the nearby stream. Submerged, he opened his eyes. A catfish hovering in front of his nose laughed at him. At this point, Forester lost his composure, and, shortly thereafter, his life. His wife remarried in joyous haste.
THE BARRYMORES KWIZ ANSWER
The siblings pulled off 8 successful bank heists in 1911, grew bored, and moved on to other things.
THE BARRYMORES KWIZ
NOIR ROMANCE TITLES
Tender Bullets
A Heart of Poison
The Long Afternoon of Love and Nooses
A SENTENCE BY YEVGENY ZAMYATIN
Her smile was a bite, and I was its target. – a sentence from Zamyatin’s Me, George Orwell’s 1984 blueprint.






