EXTREME JELLY BIRD
February 28, 2018
EXTREME JELLY!
‘TRY IT TODAY
IF YOU DARE,’
says Hyacinth,
EXTREME JELLY spokesbird.
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TRIFFID ATTACK
February 27, 2018
The moment an enraged triffid leaped at an ethnologist captured on film. The ethnologist was devoured.
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THE VERY STRANGE THING
February 26, 2018
The experiment went terribly wrong, and the professor quickly left on a journey to Tibet, after ordering his housekeeper, Mrs. Goody, to undertake the care of the thing. She did so reluctantly, but at her age finding another position would prove difficult. A comfortable routine developed in time. Mrs. Goody kept the bathtub filled and fed bits of wolf to the thing by hand. The thing seemed to thrive in the wretched filth of the narrow water closet.
One morning when Mrs. Goody unlocked the door, she discovered the thing gone. A hole bashed in the wall next to the sink gave evidence of its escape. Mrs. Goody realized burning the house down offered her salvation. She did so without delay. She fled London for Cornwall on the afternoon train. That night, London’s long horror of The Deep Night Ripper commenced.
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – THEODORE GEISEL
February 25, 2018
Loon: A person I have never heard of is our celebrity ghost today for the 3 Question Interview. He is a man with the severely odd name of Theodore Geisel. Mr. Geisel, why have I never heard of you?
Ghost of Geisel: You might know me by my pen name, Dr. Seuss.
Loon: Oh, a doctor! No wonder. I have never seen a doctor. Is your specialty something to do with stethoscopes?
Ghost of Geisel: I am not a medical doctor. I am an artist and a proctor. Sorry, I meant to say artist and writer.
Loon: You should make a decision. It is best to stick with one thing. Have you ever been to the top of the Empire State Building?
Ghost of Geisel: Yes. I have a funny story about that.
Loon: We have run out of time. Good-bye.
(Loon runs off to a call of nature, leaving behind a perplexed Geisel.)
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THE MARLENE DIETRICH KWIZ ANSWER
February 23, 2018
D and C are acceptable because technically it is hard to call it breakfast when it is 2 o’clock in the afternoon.
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THE MARLENE DIETRICH KWIZ
February 22, 2018
Marlene is:
a. preparing to attack breakfast.
b. on the verge of collapse.
c. calculating the odds of successfully crossing the room in her current mental state.
d. all of the above.
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EXPLOSION IN THE GREENHOUSE
February 21, 2018
PORCUPINES
February 20, 2018
Having no tarps to mend, four tarpmenders sat around a table playing cards. The door flashed open.
Little Alice stuck her head inside and said, “The porcupines are wearing pants. They invited me to join their dance.” She pulled her head back and slammed the door.
The tarpmenders looked at one another, shrugged, and returned to their game. Time passed. The door flashed open again.
“The porcupines are telling lies. They say the world is ruled by flies,” announced Little Alice. She pulled her head back and slammed the door.
The tarpmenders exchanged glances. One of them, Little Alice’s father, coughed an embarrassed sort of cough. They returned to their game. Time passed. The door flashed open.
“The porcupines have built a house big enough to house a mouse,” said Little Alice. The door slammed.
Little Alice’s father stood up and said, “My friends, I have to leave now. When the porcupines build the mouse house, that means they have given final fair warning.” He exited.
Little Alice and her father, hand in hand, led the porcupines home. Thanks to them, they would not be late for supper.
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THE BASIC DIFFERENCE
February 19, 2018
President #44 = a decent human being
President #45 = a monster
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
