July 23, 2017
Loon: It is with incumbent joy that I accept delivery from the Lords of the 4th Dimension for the 3 Question Interview one Thomas L. Jefferson, 2nd president of the Continental Congress’s Untied States of America. Mr. Jefferson, a lot of books have been written about you. Do you agree?
Jefferson’s ghost: Yes.
Loon: Did you really write the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope?
Jefferson’s ghost: I did not write the Gettysburg Address.
Loon: Interesting. Do you know who did?
Jefferson’s ghost: Without doubt.
Loon: Excellent. That’s all for this week’s 3 Question Interview. Thank you and good-bye.
Jefferson’s ghost: Farewell.
(Loon and Jefferson’s ghost exit room simultaneously, Loon through the door, Jefferson’s ghost through the wall.)
July 22, 2017
random genetic drift
an anthropological term
i admire anthropo logic as much as the next guy
but for me in my youth
traveling from Big Sur to Lake Tahoe to Reno to Bakersfield
was the living embodiment of
random genetic drift
July 21, 2017
The answer is everything. The guy does it all.
July 20, 2017
This government official was appointed by Donald Trump to oversee:
a. the preparation of cheeseburgers and the defense department.
b. golf course landscaping and the appointment of ambassadors to foreign nations.
c. the orange skin products and environmental destruction.
d. all of the above plus cyber hacking coordination and chocolate cakes.
July 19, 2017
IRASCIBLE TUB OF GOO PLAYS GOLF
July 18, 2017
bugs make a terrific paste
not to everyone’s taste
i make haste
to acknowledge
simply baste
with toxic waste
effluvium laced
for optimum enjoyment
July 17, 2017
“I must have the finest of red bricks and the most binding of gray mortar to build my giant cube,” said the Queen.
And so it came to pass that a monstrous cube of bricks, fair dwarfing the palace, towered above the city. Plague followed drought followed war, and devastation ruled. The city became abandoned rubble, then disappeared under desert sands. Buried, too, but perfectly preserved, was the giant brick cube. For it was enchanted and possessed a secret hidden inside. The Queen, now aged 800 or 8,000 or 80,000 years or more, sat in darkness, waiting. She was the secret hidden inside.
Then, after a millennial span of time, rains returned, and the desert bloomed. A wind attacked with seeming purpose the sand covering the brick cube. When the cube stood fully exposed in rigid splendor, the wind retired. The Queen inside awoke from a long dream.
“Ah, time to try again,” she muttered. Roots punched down through the soles of her golden slippers and grew in length, branched, slithered under and up, crawling to cover the walls on the outside of the brick cube. Leafy the green ivy grew in lovely embrace of the cube. And not one man, woman, or child ever saw it, for the Queen, Gaia, had cured the world of humanity.
July 16, 2017
Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension in their wisdom have sent to us for the 3 Question Interview a chimpanzee. I am told it was a movie star named Chita in something called Tar Zone or Tar Man. Tell me, Chita, did you ever operate the camera yourself when shooting those movies?
Chita’s ghost: Not per se, but I did assist in blocking some scenes and helping Weissmuller learn his lines.
Loon: Do you like bananas?
Chita’s ghost: Have you always been a racist?
Loon: Huh? Err … finally, do you prefer silk or gabardine?
Chita’s ghost: Silk for romance, gabardine for workaday garb.
Loon: Thank you, Mr. Monkey.
(As Loon exits, Chita’s ghost throws trash at him.)
July 15, 2017
tinnia giles meleet
went down to welcome the fleet
she arrived out of breath
and fell to her death
angels fed her a gleat*
*angel salmon
