Handing Mavis a 16 pound shot, the cruel tyrant stated, ‘If you can put this shot 40 feet, I’ll allow you to live.’
Although Mavis knew she was physically unable to launch the shot a distance anywhere near 40 feet, she was able to crush the adjacent tyrant’s cranium with a toss of merely 3 feet, thereby earning both the unending devotion of the gathered multitudes and 16 sacks of oats.
Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension have brought forth for the 3 Question Interview a man from long ago who single-handedly invented electricity, Benjamin Franklin. Welcome, Mr. Franklin, and may I ask you if you ever built a raft?
Franklin’s ghost: You may.
Loon: Did you ever build a raft?
Franklin’s ghost: A penny saved in time is worth earning.
Loon: I’ll try to remember that. But about that raft, did you build it?
Franklin’s ghost: Not only did I build it, but I tore it apart and built it again.
Loon: Thank you and good-bye.
(Franklin’s ghost whirls like a dervish through the floor. The Loon merely strolls from the room.)
triangles, i tell you!
framed rectangular in white
blue stripes curved here
green stripes rigid there
gold
grey
red
the evil eyes peer!
cruel laughter
i fall back
insensate
the night trembles on
George was the undisputed world champion ‘pixies and leprechauns’ player. He often said he owed it all to his hut.
George Bernard Shaw used his magic hut to:
a. fly about the countryside.
b. travel through time.
c. hide from cows.
d. play at ‘pixies and leprechauns’ for hours on end.
today is august 24th
i’m celebrating in the north
there’s not an awful lot to do
after painting turkeys blue,
winnowing the various grains,
unloading a hundred choochoo trains,
sorting through the greeting cards,
and bribing the praetorian guards
i might take time to just relax
and strew the ground with carpet tacks
Betemus Quop gazed into the eyes of doom and took one involuntary step backwards and one voluntary step backward. Then both of his legs volunteered to flee with as much haste as Betemus could summon. He sped in a kind of whirling frenzy all the way to the mouth of the cave and shot out into the welcoming snow storm. His rasping gasps took turns with rib crunching thumps as he caromed from tree to tree all the way down the slope to the rapidly roaring river. He leaped into the freezing churn without entertaining even the most fleeting of thoughts. Swept to a sandbar, Betemus rolled in misery to huddle beneath a thorn bush. Violent winds caused it to stab successfully at his flesh. Three days passed before the volunteers found him. He muttered and sang and snatched at his beard while they carried him back to the village. Once safely home, Betemus Quop vowed never again to seek the eyes of doom. Unfortunately for him, the eyes of doom voluntarily sought him and found him within a week.
Loon: Today we welcome for the 3 Question Interview the ghost of Benny Goodman, a bandleader from the days of yore. Mr. Goodman, is the french horn named after France?
Goodman’s ghost: Don’t jive me, daddy. Next question.
Loon: Yes, sir. Did wearing glasses help you as a musician?
Goodman’s ghost: You’re a strange cat, my man. Let’s move on. I got a gig to get to.
Loon: Did you secretly hate the clarinet?
Goodman’s ghost: (freezes loon in place with a death ray stare before lilting off through the wall)
fleet biscuits
a dry remedy
for charms lost
and bitterness found
on the muscled plain of no return
to a dilapidated harmony
faltering
fleet biscuits
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
