VISITOR

August 14, 2014

At last you have arrived at the cottage in the woods. You push the door open and enter. Fireplace. Plush chair. All you need to work on your manuscript for a few blessed days of peace and quiet. You shuffle out of your backpack and drop it to the floor. A muffled whump. Not the […]

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THE LAUGH

August 5, 2014
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The laugh echoes along the hall, stops, pushes the down button, and chuckles softly while awaiting the elevator’s arrival. ding. The doors part, and the laugh tumbles into the not unoccupied cubicle. Greeted by the snarl, the laugh hoots and pushes 1. Doors close. Elevator descends. Doors open. The laugh erupts into the late afternoon […]

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THE FOUL CONCOCTION

June 11, 2014
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The foul concoction brooded at the bottom of the cauldron. Why in the name of liquid brews everywhere did the crone add that last tincture of awareness to me? Trapped, nay puddled as I am in the depths of this ugly pot, what possible benefit can the awareness of my own existence bring to me? […]

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THE INDECISIVE MIRROR

June 9, 2014

The vain queen stood before the mirror and said, ‘Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?’ The mirror, playing for time, replied, ‘Fair in what sense, your majesty? Equal pay for equal work? Educational opportunity? Whoa, I see by the steam issuing from your ears that it’s my opinion on […]

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THE TAR KING

June 3, 2014

The Tar King, determined to exact revenge on the Simpering Fluff, oozed from the byre, ignoring the frantic cow’s plea to return and the Fluff’s mocking laughter. ‘Never in all my born days have I been so insulted,’ muttered the Tar King. He slugged up the wall, sliming his way onto the roof. There he […]

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THE MAN WHO STEPPED OUT OF HIS DREAM

May 18, 2014
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The man who stepped out of his dream initialed the last page of the commitment papers. Two burly flunkies stepped forward at a nod from the cruel mistress and dragged the man down a long unlit corridor. They flung him into a bare concrete cube of a room and bashed shut the spike laden door. […]

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IN THE TIME OF WEALTH

April 29, 2014
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Every morning the eccentric billionaire descends the grand stairway and announces his name to the assembled staff. On each occasion the name announced is different. On this morning he says, ‘My name is Beak Hickenlooper.’ At this, the staff bows or curtsies, according to gender. The housekeeper then slips away to the dining room, where […]

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FRED DAFFODIL, PRIVATE EYE

April 22, 2014
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Morning slapped me like a deranged walrus. My brain felt like it had been chopped and pureed by a band of angry aphids wielding barbed flails. ‘You’re an angel,’ I croaked when Wanda, my secretary, whose petals had seen the seedier side of the San Fernando Valley, poured a pitcher of gin down my face. […]

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THE BOARD CERTIFIED LEMMING

April 5, 2014
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Darwin Plaguemaster, the board certified lemming, approached the edge of the cliff with some trepidation and a bag of walnuts. He tossed one walnut over and watched its descent onto the crusty spikes far below. A faint nutty cry of pain drifted up to chastise the lemming. With a firm nod, Plaguemaster retreated to safety […]

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TO VANQUISH THE VANQUISHED

March 26, 2014

The sun, like a malevolent Belgian horse, rose savagely over the surly sea. ‘Ain’t licked yet, you bent rusty excuse for a literate worm!’ croaked Tarleton Skrebble, his sanity lacking defiance lifting feebly from the bobbing raft. ‘Hell you ain’t!’ boomed the suddenly appearing mega whale of death.

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