THE CRIME OF ALISON FENTLOW

June 29, 2016

When asked if she would care to imbibe, Alison Fentlow demurred. When shown the jewels of the Countess Malone, Alison Fentlow purred. When late at night the Countess slept, Alison Fentlow stirred. When in the morning shouts of loss Alison Fentlow heard, she slipped away undetected with Count Raven Bold, her bird.

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THE FANGED WRIGGLER

June 1, 2016

Charles Bentlow slid from concealment behind the rhododendrons, furtively glancing to his left. Had he in addition glanced furtively to his right, fortune might have smiled and guided him to safety in the boathouse. However, his glance to the left lingered a beat too long, thereby solidifying in perpetuity fortune’s frown on Bentlow’s subsequent demise. […]

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THE TRAIN

May 16, 2016

The train rushes along the track, puh tick puh tack puh tick puh tack. You, tranquil, serene, almost mesmerized, gaze at the scrubby sage brush flashing by outside. A discreet rap on the door of your compartment interrupts your train of thoughtless train thoughts. ‘Yes,’ you say. The door opens. The conductor, hat in hands, […]

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ADEQUATE COMPANION

May 9, 2016

During his lifelong search for an adequate companion, Jasper Tubbs once mistakenly thought he had succeeded. On a page with two columns, one headed ‘positives’ and one headed ‘negatives’, he had ticked off 8 items on the ‘positives’ side and 1 on the ‘negatives’. On the ‘positives’ side: elbows rounded in a pleasing manner, neck […]

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MEYERS

April 25, 2016

Meyers snapped his briefcase shut and nodded once firmly, well satisfied with the completion of yet another day’s work. He donned his fedora, nodded good evening to the receptionist, nodded good evening to Eddie, the elevator boy, and nodded farewell to Harwell, the guard stationed in the lobby. He passed through the revolving door and […]

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THE SUN CHASER

April 18, 2016

One day a long time ago Simple Septimus, the stable boy, asked his master, ‘What is the sun?’ ‘A great ball of fire,’ replied the master. ‘Where does it go at night?’ said Septimus. ‘Underneath to its golden palace where it rests and takes refreshment. Now get back to work,’ said the master. I would […]

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EDGAR

April 4, 2016

‘Pardon my giraffe,’ said Edgar. ‘Why did that funny man say “Pardon my giraffe”, Mommy?’ said Clarissa. ‘Never mind, darling. Hurry along now,’ said Clarissa’s mother. Edgar continued wandering along the street, bumping into walls, windows, and the occasional parking meter. ‘Say, pal, watch where you’re going,’ said a night watchman on his way to […]

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JADE MINK

March 21, 2016

Jade Mink materialized at Foster’s side and whispered, ‘Don’t trust Allenby.’ Foster, startled by her sudden appearance, responded, ‘Where the devil did you come from?’ ‘Never mind,’ purred Jade Mink, and she melted away into the crowd. Six times that evening at six different gatherings did Jade Mink convey her message to six different titans […]

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THE SEEDS

March 12, 2016

The seeds gathered at the site. Their leader called for silence. The seeds ceased jabbering and paid heed. ‘Our mission is stout, true, and before us waiting,’ said the leader. ‘Let no seed feel impelled to proceed against its will. If any one of you harbors the slightest doubt whatsoever, turn and go in peace. […]

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THE MAN WHO GAVE NO OFFENSE

March 5, 2016

The man who gave no offense rarely emerged from his hiding place for fear he might somehow upset a random stranger met on the street. With this thought foremost in his mind, he set forth only when in direst need between 2 and 3 in the morning to visit refuse bins in search of edible […]

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