THE JANET GAYNOR ‘SUNRISE’ KWIZ

March 5, 2015
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While working on Sunrise, F. W. Murnau’s brilliant and strange expressionist silent movie about a sweet little farm wife and her deeply disturbed husband, Janet Gaynor relaxed by: a. swimming in Lake Arrowhead with Murnau’s pet albino hippopotamus. b. knitting sweaters for owls. c. undergoing experimental self-induced comas. d. marching in circles leading her geese.

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STORY ASSIGNMENT

March 2, 2015
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The class was given the assignment of adding one sentence to the following statement to make a complete story: —For reasons never explained, the Devil had him sign the document in penguin blood.— 5 students received gold stars. Here are their additions: 1. Then they had cupcakes. 2. Surprisingly, a cold wind blew them to […]

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THE LIGHTNING MAN KWIZ

February 26, 2015
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Lightning Man’s alter ego is: a. Miles Beefsteak, ill-mannered lonely hearts columnist for a pathetic small town news rag. b. Champ Follansby, egotistical gladhanding salesman employed by a shady used car dealership in Saugus, California. c. Red Scuff, sweet-talking middle reliever for a minor league baseball team, the Beerfield  Undertow. d. Natasha Graywolf, nattily attired […]

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A DAY IN THE LIFE

February 10, 2015

Morning finds Findley crawling across the floor in his sleep until he bumps his head against the wall and awakens. Gradually realizing a new day has dawned, he edges, still on hands and knees, into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, he emerges, standing tall, proud, and immaculately groomed in his […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – JOSEPH CONRAD

February 8, 2015

Loon: Today’s guest ghost for the 3 question interview is Joseph Conrad, who I am told wrote books. Welcome, Mr. Conrad. Did anybody ever tell you that you look like the captain of the Titanic? Conrad’s ghost (staring wide-eyed at the loon): The horror, the horror. Loon (turning his head this way and that, frightened): […]

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THE KENESAW MOUNTAIN LANDIS KWIZ

February 5, 2015

Unlike Will Rogers, Judge Landis: a. never met a man he liked. b. couldn’t beat a snake in a baseball throwing contest. c. was hopeless with a lariat. d. treated his polo ponies like trash.

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HOW TO BECOME THE GREATEST EVIL ROBOT EVER

February 3, 2015

Step One Step Two Step Three Step Four Any questions?

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THE INN AT HENCHLEY’S BROW

February 2, 2015

You approach Henchley’s Brow, so named because of the scuzzy gorse running rampant along the dunes. Your destination is the inn located there, and whether or not you’ll find it is in doubt as you suffer leg-buckling lashes of fury from the howling storm. Finally, staggered sideways by a particularly violent gust, you slam against […]

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THE MAD DOG EARLE HIGH SIERRA KWIZ

January 29, 2015
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Working on location for the movie High Sierra, Humphrey Bogart playing Mad Dog Earle was confused: a. when Ida Lupino reverted to her native English accent between scenes. b. when Ida Lupino prepared waffles for the entire crew one morning. c. when Ida Lupino insisted everybody join hands and sing ‘Greensleeves’. d. when Ida Lupino […]

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THE REBELLIOUS POEM

January 28, 2015
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i refuse to rhyme june with that night sky disc or that other word for melody i won’t do it and don’t even think about asking me to rhyme it with a common kitchen utensil standing in for the concept of making love

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