March 5, 2015
While working on Sunrise, F. W. Murnau’s brilliant and strange expressionist silent movie about a sweet little farm wife and her deeply disturbed husband, Janet Gaynor relaxed by: a. swimming in Lake Arrowhead with Murnau’s pet albino hippopotamus. b. knitting sweaters for owls. c. undergoing experimental self-induced comas. d. marching in circles leading her geese.
March 2, 2015
The class was given the assignment of adding one sentence to the following statement to make a complete story: —For reasons never explained, the Devil had him sign the document in penguin blood.— 5 students received gold stars. Here are their additions: 1. Then they had cupcakes. 2. Surprisingly, a cold wind blew them to […]
February 26, 2015
Lightning Man’s alter ego is: a. Miles Beefsteak, ill-mannered lonely hearts columnist for a pathetic small town news rag. b. Champ Follansby, egotistical gladhanding salesman employed by a shady used car dealership in Saugus, California. c. Red Scuff, sweet-talking middle reliever for a minor league baseball team, the Beerfield Undertow. d. Natasha Graywolf, nattily attired […]
February 10, 2015
Morning finds Findley crawling across the floor in his sleep until he bumps his head against the wall and awakens. Gradually realizing a new day has dawned, he edges, still on hands and knees, into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, he emerges, standing tall, proud, and immaculately groomed in his […]
February 8, 2015
Loon: Today’s guest ghost for the 3 question interview is Joseph Conrad, who I am told wrote books. Welcome, Mr. Conrad. Did anybody ever tell you that you look like the captain of the Titanic? Conrad’s ghost (staring wide-eyed at the loon): The horror, the horror. Loon (turning his head this way and that, frightened): […]
February 5, 2015
Unlike Will Rogers, Judge Landis: a. never met a man he liked. b. couldn’t beat a snake in a baseball throwing contest. c. was hopeless with a lariat. d. treated his polo ponies like trash.
February 3, 2015
Step One Step Two Step Three Step Four Any questions?
February 2, 2015
You approach Henchley’s Brow, so named because of the scuzzy gorse running rampant along the dunes. Your destination is the inn located there, and whether or not you’ll find it is in doubt as you suffer leg-buckling lashes of fury from the howling storm. Finally, staggered sideways by a particularly violent gust, you slam against […]
January 29, 2015
Working on location for the movie High Sierra, Humphrey Bogart playing Mad Dog Earle was confused: a. when Ida Lupino reverted to her native English accent between scenes. b. when Ida Lupino prepared waffles for the entire crew one morning. c. when Ida Lupino insisted everybody join hands and sing ‘Greensleeves’. d. when Ida Lupino […]
January 28, 2015
i refuse to rhyme june with that night sky disc or that other word for melody i won’t do it and don’t even think about asking me to rhyme it with a common kitchen utensil standing in for the concept of making love