THE KATNISS EVERDEEN, CONFLICTED KILLING MACHINE, KWIZ

April 23, 2015
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In addition to her archery skills, it’s a little known fact that Katniss: a. was also a leading authority on the films of Mary Pickford. b. could recite the entire poem Hiawatha while hopping. c. hoarded pencils. d. had a favorite element, tungsten.

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BOOK REVIEW EXCERPT SAMPLES

March 24, 2015
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This work is what I would call ‘a good book’, not the Bible per se, but a book that never in fact arms itself and robs a convenience store. This book is exactly like a braided lamp sputtering an effusion of liquid sparkles which make an ordinary parlor seem like a dentist’s nightmare. This book […]

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THE SKELETAL TRIFFID

March 16, 2015
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This skeletal triffid, standing in front of the triffid disguised as a pine tree, monitors the airwaves with its antenna twigs and sends reports to the invisible mother ship hovering somewhere in back of the moon. It told me that lately it’s been bored with nothing but weasels to report. It added not to get […]

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THE SEVENTH SEAL KWIZ

March 12, 2015

During the filming of The Seventh Seal, Gunnar Bjornstrand and Max Von Sydow relaxed between scenes by: a. sharing knock knock jokes. b. downing flagon on flagon of ale and giggling. c. waging a Bibi Andersson impersonation contest judged by Bibi herself. d. thumb wrestling. e. doing all of the above.

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THE JANET GAYNOR ‘SUNRISE’ KWIZ

March 5, 2015
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While working on Sunrise, F. W. Murnau’s brilliant and strange expressionist silent movie about a sweet little farm wife and her deeply disturbed husband, Janet Gaynor relaxed by: a. swimming in Lake Arrowhead with Murnau’s pet albino hippopotamus. b. knitting sweaters for owls. c. undergoing experimental self-induced comas. d. marching in circles leading her geese.

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STORY ASSIGNMENT

March 2, 2015
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The class was given the assignment of adding one sentence to the following statement to make a complete story: —For reasons never explained, the Devil had him sign the document in penguin blood.— 5 students received gold stars. Here are their additions: 1. Then they had cupcakes. 2. Surprisingly, a cold wind blew them to […]

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THE LIGHTNING MAN KWIZ

February 26, 2015
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Lightning Man’s alter ego is: a. Miles Beefsteak, ill-mannered lonely hearts columnist for a pathetic small town news rag. b. Champ Follansby, egotistical gladhanding salesman employed by a shady used car dealership in Saugus, California. c. Red Scuff, sweet-talking middle reliever for a minor league baseball team, the Beerfield  Undertow. d. Natasha Graywolf, nattily attired […]

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A DAY IN THE LIFE

February 10, 2015

Morning finds Findley crawling across the floor in his sleep until he bumps his head against the wall and awakens. Gradually realizing a new day has dawned, he edges, still on hands and knees, into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, he emerges, standing tall, proud, and immaculately groomed in his […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – JOSEPH CONRAD

February 8, 2015

Loon: Today’s guest ghost for the 3 question interview is Joseph Conrad, who I am told wrote books. Welcome, Mr. Conrad. Did anybody ever tell you that you look like the captain of the Titanic? Conrad’s ghost (staring wide-eyed at the loon): The horror, the horror. Loon (turning his head this way and that, frightened): […]

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THE KENESAW MOUNTAIN LANDIS KWIZ

February 5, 2015

Unlike Will Rogers, Judge Landis: a. never met a man he liked. b. couldn’t beat a snake in a baseball throwing contest. c. was hopeless with a lariat. d. treated his polo ponies like trash.

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