BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – ANDY DEVINE

October 8, 2017
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Loon: We have a treat in store for us today on the 3 Question Interview. The lords of the 4th dimension have brought someone they call a sidekick, Andy Devine, as today’s ghost guest. Mr. Devine, as a sidekick, do you kick people in the side or do you yourself get kicked in the side? […]

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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – CHESTER ARTHUR

September 10, 2017
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Loon: In a presidential mood, the Lords of the 4th Dimension have sent the spirit of someone they reassure me was, at some undetermined time, the president of the United States. First things first, I’m a little confused. Sir, is your name Chester Arthur or Arthur Chester? Arthur’s ghost: I forget. It doesn’t matter when […]

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THE OZZIE AND HARRIET KWIZ

August 3, 2017
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Ozzie, Harriet, Dave and Rick: a. were aliens from a galaxy far, far away. b. often played miniature golf on their yacht in the heart of Soviet Russia. c. spent most of their down time in a cave. d. each possessed a mansion the others weren’t allowed to visit.

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THE DWIGHT FRYE KWIZ

February 23, 2017
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Dwight is: a. asking the waitress what time she gets off work. b. strangling himself to amuse his grandmother over there. c. acknowledging the standing ovation he is receiving after reciting Poe’s ‘The Raven’. d. pleased to be accepted into medical school.

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THE BLUE FLAME

January 28, 2017

The blue petal of flame shuddered when he drew forward and softly chugged the cigar to life. ‘Thanks, doll,’ he said. ‘My pleasure,’ she replied, snapping the lighter shut, snuffing the blue petal of flame. They eyed each other warily. Outside, blue petals of flame descended in vengeful billions from the night sky.

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THE LOST LIBRARY CARD

December 31, 2016

You have lost your library card. Don’t go into the bedroom again. You have already searched it thoroughly. Try the kitchen. You know the card can’t possibly be there, but nevertheless, take a look. It isn’t, of course, not even in the high cupboard which has never to your knowledge been opened until this minute […]

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NOVEL TITLES BEFORE EDITING OCCURRED

May 25, 2016
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War And Peace And A Lazy Summer Afternoon The Sound And The Fury And A Nice Cup Of Tea The Naked And The Dead And A Loaf Of Bread Gone With The Wind, Returned With The Rain From Here To Eternity And Back Again

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THE CLAIRE TREVOR KWIZ

December 3, 2015
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During the filming of Stagecoach, Claire managed to: a. design and build a merry-go-round. b. sneak up unobserved behind John Ford every day and shout, “Boo!” c. win a substantial amount of cash playing poker with Donald Meek, John Carradine, and Andy Devine. d. steal and later return the stagecoach four times.

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FIRST SENTENCES NOT TO BE FOLLOWED BY A SECOND

November 2, 2015
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Prudhomme Jerico unfastened the hinges of his platypus costume and shucked himself free of the disguise. The land in front of Rose Talisman rose up to greet her with a violent caress, breaking her harmonica. Stebbins Boulder vowed silently to discover why his bath attendant was an elephant. Walking in triumph, Jones wondered how he […]

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RHYME WITHOUT REASON OR RHYME

October 19, 2015
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behold turkeys not seen the bent fence trots by the yellow serentiy of phantoms breeze shivered waiting

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