July 22, 2015
To make this versatile potion, good for invisibility or flight, you will need the following: 1 clarinet 1 steel flagon 3 seeds of any kind (doubt works well) a blue bowl filled half with water from a roaring cataract and half with empty 2 pinches and 1 poke of dirt Start by placing the clarinet […]
June 9, 2015
A gang of free range poppies roams the meadow looking for trouble.
April 23, 2015
In addition to her archery skills, it’s a little known fact that Katniss: a. was also a leading authority on the films of Mary Pickford. b. could recite the entire poem Hiawatha while hopping. c. hoarded pencils. d. had a favorite element, tungsten.
March 24, 2015
This work is what I would call ‘a good book’, not the Bible per se, but a book that never in fact arms itself and robs a convenience store. This book is exactly like a braided lamp sputtering an effusion of liquid sparkles which make an ordinary parlor seem like a dentist’s nightmare. This book […]
March 16, 2015
This skeletal triffid, standing in front of the triffid disguised as a pine tree, monitors the airwaves with its antenna twigs and sends reports to the invisible mother ship hovering somewhere in back of the moon. It told me that lately it’s been bored with nothing but weasels to report. It added not to get […]
March 12, 2015
During the filming of The Seventh Seal, Gunnar Bjornstrand and Max Von Sydow relaxed between scenes by: a. sharing knock knock jokes. b. downing flagon on flagon of ale and giggling. c. waging a Bibi Andersson impersonation contest judged by Bibi herself. d. thumb wrestling. e. doing all of the above.
March 5, 2015
While working on Sunrise, F. W. Murnau’s brilliant and strange expressionist silent movie about a sweet little farm wife and her deeply disturbed husband, Janet Gaynor relaxed by: a. swimming in Lake Arrowhead with Murnau’s pet albino hippopotamus. b. knitting sweaters for owls. c. undergoing experimental self-induced comas. d. marching in circles leading her geese.
March 2, 2015
The class was given the assignment of adding one sentence to the following statement to make a complete story: —For reasons never explained, the Devil had him sign the document in penguin blood.— 5 students received gold stars. Here are their additions: 1. Then they had cupcakes. 2. Surprisingly, a cold wind blew them to […]
February 26, 2015
Lightning Man’s alter ego is: a. Miles Beefsteak, ill-mannered lonely hearts columnist for a pathetic small town news rag. b. Champ Follansby, egotistical gladhanding salesman employed by a shady used car dealership in Saugus, California. c. Red Scuff, sweet-talking middle reliever for a minor league baseball team, the Beerfield Undertow. d. Natasha Graywolf, nattily attired […]
February 10, 2015
Morning finds Findley crawling across the floor in his sleep until he bumps his head against the wall and awakens. Gradually realizing a new day has dawned, he edges, still on hands and knees, into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, he emerges, standing tall, proud, and immaculately groomed in his […]