Mary Pickford needed activities like this to escape the maddening suffocation of being America’s sweetheart.
Beneath this disguise, the melon man was actually: a. a mild mannered giant insect. b. foaming at the mouth. c. Mary Pickford. d. regretting recent decisions.
Every morning the eccentric billionaire descends the grand stairway and announces his name to the assembled staff. On each occasion the name announced is different. On this morning he says, ‘My name is Beak Hickenlooper.’ At this, the staff bows or curtsies, according to gender. The housekeeper then slips away to the dining room, where […]
The ravens on set were extremely well behaved. Mesmerized, one might say.
Taking on the role of Svengali, John Barrymore stayed in character by: a. running amok through a local dairy. b. hypnotizing ravens to do his bidding. c. poking random strangers in the eye with his beard. d. igniting small brush fires with his gaze. e. beginning each day by eating a bowl of swan’s eyes.
Morning slapped me like a deranged walrus. My brain felt like it had been chopped and pureed by a band of angry aphids wielding barbed flails. ‘You’re an angel,’ I croaked when Wanda, my secretary, whose petals had seen the seedier side of the San Fernando Valley, poured a pitcher of gin down my face. […]
Loon: We have a writer I think I’ve heard of today for the 3 question interview, Mr. Nick Gogol. Tell me, Nick, is there a question you would like me to ask? Gogol’s ghost: The Roman Nose Replacement saluted his inner thigh. Loon: Did he? Gogol’s ghost: Not really, but he should have. Loon: Do […]
Henderson rose from the chair, advanced to the center of the room, paused, thrust his right leg forward, and stood stock still for a time balanced in this peculiar manner. ‘I do this sometimes,’ he said before he returned to the chair. His guests departed rapidly.
Peaches Lamborghini delicately slipped the dagger between the ribs of the umbrella.
Loon: Today for the 3 question interview we have a distinguished looking bearded gentleman, a Mister Charles Darwin, I am informed. Tell me, Mr. Darwin, are those boots comfortable? Darwin’s ghost: To be forthright, they are slightly snug. Loon: Following up on that, have you ever spilled honey onto your beard? Darwin’s ghost: You are […]
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
