8 ducks one package gelatin Pluck ducks, setting aside feathers for later burial in the foundation of any proposed new nearby highrise apartment buildings. Puree ducks into a paste. Mix in gelatin. Beat with a small oar until your arm trembles. Pour resulting mixture into 20 small parakeet molds and refrigerate. Down a fifth of […]
It will no doubt come as a shock to learn that Chester Arthur is the best rhyme for ‘bales of hay’. Only those biographically knowledgeable few are aware that Chester’s boyhood nickname was ‘Farmer Gray’. Doris Day is the second best answer, as in ‘Who can tote these bales of hay? No one better than […]
And so she was transformed into a gnarled old oak, serving as a warning to all hens with snotty attitudes everywhere.
The loon lurks here in his new domicile. There are no anteaters in the vicinity. The loon’s decision to live here hinged solely on this fact.
For the next few days the loon will be scouting locations for turkey feather helmet franchises.
Life can be like an elk, resembling but not so large as a moose.
With tentacles dangling beneath wrinkled red globular heads, the aliens drifted downward through Earth’s atmosphere like tiny parachutes of menace. Gathering in force near Fresno, they attacked, emitting a pungent scent not unlike that of the most wretched porcupine you’ve ever encountered. The population swooned to death, and the aliens took Earth home with them, […]
The creature from the Black Lagoon vacations at Lake Tahoe for a bit of snowboarding. He stays in this convenient condo lagoon. He doesn’t dare to descend into the lake itself for fear of meeting up with the vacationing Loch Ness Monster, his arch nemesis.
Jack Frost was up all night painting. I don’t know where he finds the patience.
1. May your comb be eaten by a burro. 2. May your favorite shoes be filled with nectar. 3. May you grow an extra set of ears and then go deaf. 4. May you fall down and break your nicest shirt.
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
