THE JIM AND LEW KWIZ

May 24, 2018

Jim and Lew are both thinking: a. I have never been more humiliated in my life than I am at this moment. b. I will skate over the publicist’s throat. c. Put the cash in my hand RIGHT NOW. d. My legs are skinnier than his.

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GALAXIES

May 22, 2018
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE

May 20, 2018

Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension must think it is funny to send for the 3 Question Interview the ghost of a talking mule named Francis. I’m not insulted. A job is a job. At the end of the day, I get my platter of chick peas and a bed to sleep in. So […]

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EXCERPT FROM AN EARTHWORM’S DIARY

May 19, 2018

May 19 – processed dirt. avoided bird’s notice by maintaining silent rigidity. processed more dirt.

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THE LORETTA YOUNG KWIZ ANSWER

May 18, 2018

Loretta was an excellent bowler.

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THE LORETTA YOUNG KWIZ

May 17, 2018

When Loretta was this young: a. she bowled the first of her eventual 8 perfect 300 games. b. she piloted a glider to Catalina. c. she caught a swordfish by the sword. d. she went over Niagara Falls in a specially designed hoop skirt.

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RECIPE FOR GIANT BREAD

May 16, 2018

2 cups ground Englishman bones 3 golden goose eggs 1 pinch nutmeg 1 tablespoon adder yeast 1 cup bat milk Break the eggs into a bowl, saving the shells to deposit in the bank later. Whip yeast into milk. Add to eggs. Stir to a froth. Add ground bones and nutmeg. Mix, knead, and craft […]

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LYLE PERSEPHONE

May 15, 2018

When Lyle Persephone strummed his mandolin while wandering along the lane, the lane emptied. When he took to the stage of the opera house, mandolin in hand, the opera house emptied. Is it any wonder that the king sought a volunteer to snatch Lyle’s mandolin. The fact that nobody volunteered was understandable, for Lyle was […]

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THE LAND OF PINK AND GREEN

May 12, 2018

in the land of pink and green i wandered so serene nibbling bliss from a comb of honey when a thief wandered by and stole my money

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THE BEULAH BONDI KWIZ ANSWER

May 11, 2018

On breaks between scenes, Beulah could often be found in the costume shop sewing and chatting like mad.

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