SNOW REMAINS
BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – CHARLES DICKENS
Loon: I have the honor, privilege, and golden opportunity today to conduct the 3 question interview with the ghost of Mr. Charles Dickens, who famously wrote many famous books, so I am told. Welcome, sir, and may I begin by asking a question about your childhood?
Dickens’ ghost: You may.
Loon: I know I should probably ask about your famous stories and such. Are you sure you don’t mind me dithering on about things you’d rather not recall or not, as the case may be?
Dickens’ ghost: I would be delighted to answer any question you decide to pose.
Loon: Good. Well now, are you all ready and comfortable?
Dickens’ ghost: Most assuredly.
Loon: Unfortunately, I’ve reached my 3 question limit. Thank you for dropping by.
(Removing his head and tucking it under his arm, Dickens’ ghost somersaults through the window. The Loon wanders off and bumps into the door, forgetting to open it.)
THE INSANE PHILOSOPHER SPEAKS
It seems to me a lot of folks don’t understand the word ‘kurpaginostician’. I tremble for them. To be fair, I tremble for everyone, what with me being afflicted with ‘the shakes’ and all. Howsoever and to boot, I stand 43 per cent behind whatever I was saying, which was, as I recall, I don’t recall. My boots have sharp incisors, the better to snack on you, my dear, said the grandmother wolf. Let that be a lesson to a certain former footman. And ‘kurpaginostician’? Root – ‘kurpag’ – to apply balm. Stem – ‘inostician’ – to take away with vigor. Flower – behold, this balm is not for you, ha ha ha.
A SENTENCE BY JOYCE CARY
But what was sweeter than dancing and the lovely waltzes of those days were the gardens gay with paper lanterns, and the trees as green as lettuce over the fairy lamps; and the smell of the limes and the night stocks hanging on the dark, and the lovely girls in their trailing skirts walking under the old walls, like the ghosts of queens.
from Mr. Cary’s Herself Surprised
CREEPING BOOKS
THE FIRST QUESTION
The first question you must ask yourself before entering politics is ‘Am I proud of my raven?’








