UNUSUAL HALLOWEEN COSTUME CHOICES
October 27, 2015
- tendril
- bellows
- harpsichord
- eyeball
- chiropodist
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
October 25, 2015
Loon: Today’s celebrity ghost here for the 3 question interview is a former First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. Madame Chairman, just what was it like to be married to Teddy Roosevelt?
Eleanor’s ghost: Teddy was my uncle.
Loon: You were married to your uncle?
Eleanor’s ghost: No, no, no. I was married to Franklin.
Loon: Are you trying to tell me you were married to Benjamin Franklin?
Eleanor’s ghost: Am I on Candid Camera?
Loon: Huh?
The encounter ends with Eleanor’s ghost retreating with dignity and the Loon retreating in confusion.
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HANS TRIFFID ANDERSEN
October 24, 2015
That’s an aspen on the left, a triffid on the right. I have named the triffid Hans Triffid Andersen because of the spellbinding tales it tells to flocks of flowers such as those pictured above. I can say without fear of contradiction that you haven’t heard a truly horrifying tale of terror until you’ve heard a triffid tale of terror.
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THE TOSHIRO MIFUNE KWIZ ANSWER
October 23, 2015
THE TOSHIRO MIFUNE KWIZ
October 22, 2015
In this photo, Toshiro is:
a. indicating to the vendor which Mickey Mouse balloon he wishes to purchase.
b. expressing discontent with the director’s suggestion that they shoot the scene again, this time with more whimsy.
c. very angry.
d. pointing out the guy he wants thrown off the set for whinnying provocatively at Toshiro’s horse.
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HOLLOW IAN
October 21, 2015
Hollow Ian, the baker’s apprentice, braced himself once again to endure the upcoming japes. He blamed himself for the curse of his name. When young he had constantly moaned how hungry he was and thereby had earned on his own behalf the wretched appellation. A curse on my name, he snarled inwardly. The crone he happened to be serving nodded as if she had heard. She winked and left the shop carrying the round loaf of rye bread she had purchased.
‘Well, are you ready for Halloween, Hollow Ian?’ smirked the baker, entering from the other room.
Before Hollow Ian could shrug in sullen acceptance, the baker disappeared in a green cloud of smoke, and in his place stood a fine carved pumpkin. Ian gaped, and by the time Halloween rolled around, he had the town’s finest collection of jack o’ lanterns. And was king. And no one ever made fun of his name again.
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SUGGESTED NOIR SENTENCES
October 20, 2015
- He looked like a termite, but tried and failed to soften the effect by wearing a tie.
- Her lips were a pair of sardines battling for possession of my mouth.
- I tried to explain my head wasn’t a gong, but they tapped me again harder, and I was taking tickets in dreamland.
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RHYME WITHOUT REASON OR RHYME
October 19, 2015
behold
turkeys not seen
the bent fence trots
by the yellow serentiy
of phantoms
breeze shivered
waiting
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BANAL INTERVIEWS WITH CELEBRITY GHOSTS – ANTHONY TROLLOPE
October 18, 2015
Loon: I’ve been told that today’s guest for the 3 question celebrity ghost interview is a writer of novels from some time ago. His name is Anthony Trollope. Mr. Trollope, I can’t help noticing your bushy beard. Does it ever itch?
Trollope’s ghost: To circumnavigate this conundrum with utmost caution and a certain level of trepidation, I always select an attitude of indifference.
Loon: You do?
Trollope’s ghost: On weighing the variety of responses available, I must lean toward the affirmative.
Loon: You must?
Trollope’s ghost: To avoid the embarrassment of needless repetition, I will endeavor to communicate my honest appraisal with a simple nod of the head. (nods)
Loon: That’s all we have time for today. (wanders off, a puzzled expression on his face)
Trollope’s ghost exits, walking briskly through the wall.
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By this guy (grown old):
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
