THE BARBARA STANWYCK/RUBY STEVENS KWIZ ANSWER
February 20, 2015
Oh, how little Ruby longed to be a stevedore.
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THE BARBARA STANWYCK/RUBY STEVENS KWIZ
February 19, 2015
Before she became Barbara Stanwyck, little Ruby Stevens wandered the streets of Brooklyn looking for:
a. a decent 5 cent cigar.
b. enlightenment.
c. a magic wand so she could turn herself into a stevedore.
d. Popsicle sticks.
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ANOTHER UNINSPIRING SUPERHERO
February 18, 2015
DEAD OF WINTER AT 6240 FEET
February 17, 2015
UNEXPECTED COLLISION RESULT
February 16, 2015
THE CLOSET
February 15, 2015
Usually it’s a closet. At least it was until yesterday. I’m going to open the door again, but first I have to get up my nerve. It might take a while. Nerve has never been one of my strengths. Timid and frightened is more my style. I admit it. So, yesterday in the morning when I was ready to leave for the office, I opened the closet door to get my coat. A thick white fog churned there. I heard a piano playing, a woman singing. I drifted through the fog like I was hypnotized or something. The girl at the piano nodded and continued to play and sing.
‘Evening, Mr. Cooper. What’ll it be? The usual?’ The bartender smiled, hair parted in the middle, handlebar mustache. I caught sight of myself in the mirror behind the bar. Shocked, I looked down and saw the vest, the gunbelt, the gun, the boots.
I backed up, fell on the floor. My coat hung on its hanger, shirts and slacks on theirs, sweats on hooks, shoes below. The closet was a closet again. I went to work. What else was I going to do? I’ve never been absent a single day, or even late. I guess I managed to do the job, though my mind wasn’t on it. I rode the elevator down at the end of the day, deeply baffled, doubting my sanity. I caught the bus, walked the final block, and now I’m home. There’s the door. All right, I’ll open it.
‘Evening, Mr. Cooper. What’ll it be? The usual?’
‘Yeah, Ben, and set ’em up for everybody. I’m buying this round. Oh, Sally, will you sing that one again for me?’
‘Sure thing, Coop.’
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HOW TO USE AN ADVERB
February 14, 2015
When the man came out and said, ‘The fish are sad, the fish is sad, are is r, the devil wears plaid’, the people moved back hurriedly.
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THE BERTOLT BRECHT KWIZ ANSWER
February 13, 2015
Every morning Bert would splash some Old Elephant under his arms, and he was good to go.
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THE BERTOLT BRECHT KWIZ
February 12, 2015
What brand of antiperspirant deodorant did Bertolt Brecht endorse?
a. Reek
b. Sewage
c. Old Elephant
d. Pig Sty
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A DAY IN THE LIFE
February 10, 2015
Morning finds Findley crawling across the floor in his sleep until he bumps his head against the wall and awakens. Gradually realizing a new day has dawned, he edges, still on hands and knees, into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Fifteen minutes later, he emerges, standing tall, proud, and immaculately groomed in his 10,000 dollar suit and priceless rhinestone boots.
Noon finds Findlay on hands and knees licking scum off of a cracked concrete slab at the edge of the canal. Trying to stand, he loses balance and falls into the canal. After a fifteen minute thrash, he manages to save himself and staggers off in the general direction of the city.
Night finds Findlay struggling up the fire escape on hands and knees until he reaches his floor and falls into the hall. Now rolling, he gets to the door of his apartment and spends fifteen minutes looking for his keys until he finds them. Entering, he collapses to sleep on filthy rags.
Morning finds Findlay …
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