DRY
February 22, 2014
THE VICTOR JORY KWIZ ANSWER
February 21, 2014
Opening a bait shop in Saskatoon was the one thing on Victor’s bucket list that he never got around to doing.
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THE VICTOR JORY KWIZ
February 20, 2014
When playing Oberon in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Victor:
a. wore this costume on set and off for the duration of the shoot.
b. tried, but failed, to maintain dignity while wearing the twig hat.
c. was not amused when Mickey Rooney borrowed his lipstick.
d. dreamed of opening a bait shop in Saskatoon.
e. designed and built a horse of leather.
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BREADED HAUNCH RECIPE
February 19, 2014
You’ll need:
1 haunch
1 oven
1 stick
1 bottle of vodka
1 clove
1 random other stuff
Beat haunch with stick until you grow weary. Fortify self from vodka bottle. Take clove and rub it lightly over your lips. Kiss haunch. Fortify self with vodka. Bread the haunch, preferably with another variety of meat. By all means, fortify. Wrap the haunch in tin foil and place it on a cookie sheet in the oven, first removing any stray cookies. Roast haunch for 6 hours at 200 degrees or until you regain consciousness, whichever comes last. Serve with stale pretzels and vodka.
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POEM WITH ZAPPER
February 18, 2014
I’ll write a poem today
to rhyme in the usual way
I’ll end with a capper
an odd little zapper
Oh, how the moon clenches its fist!
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THE MIDNIGHT KNIVES
February 17, 2014
Be on guard. The Midnight Knives are afoot. They scritch, clanking along the cobbles in line, ever on the lookout for their next victim. What lo! Is this an unwary baker heading to task at a pre-dawn oven? The Midnight Knives arrange themselves in presentation mode and unfurl their banner. They sing:
Good morning to you,
Good morning to you,
Good morning, esteemed gentleman,
Good morning to you.
The baker, buoyed, hurries to his site of labor. The Midnight Knives, satisfied, set off in search of their next victim.
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HYPE
February 16, 2014
TENDER VOLES
THE GREATEST NOVEL EVER WRITTEN
DISPLAYS RANCID ENTITLEMENT
DARKLY WRY
BOLDLY SKIPS WHERE OTHERS DARE NOT SLITHER
A STUNNING COUNTERPOINT TO ANYTHING ETHICAL IN ITS CHEAP CONSTRUCT
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A SENTENCE BY AGATHA CHRISTIE
February 15, 2014
Thinking over what gave me most pleasure in my childhood I should be inclined to place first and foremost, my hoop.
From Agatha’s incredibly delightful autobiography.
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THE VILMA BANKY KWIZ ANSWER
February 14, 2014
Vilma played the kazoo better than anyone else in L.A. In fact, she taught kazoo. Marion Davies and Charlie Chaplin were two of her pupils.
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THE VILMA BANKY KWIZ
February 13, 2014
Silent movie star Vilma Banky, pictured here at a Pasadena garden party with Valentino lookalike Herb Flantz, was:
a. linked romantically to Roman Link, a screenwriter for Warner Brothers.
b. Miss Bronx Apple Cider in 1919.
c. able to stand on tiptoe for hours,and often did.
d. the unseen hand behind quite a few leveraged buyouts.
e. often seen strolling Santa Monica’s beaches playing her kazoo.
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
