October 7, 2013
Twig Hand
He staggered into the fog. Pale lights loomed ahead, were swallowed behind. He veered into the tangled undergrowth by the path. Red leaves in bunches slapped at his face. His eyes swam in and out of focus where the mist thinned and thickened in pulses. He came to a standstill, breathing heavily. A rustling. He squinted. The hand of twigs reached out. His body was never found.
October 6, 2013
Loon: The 3 Question Interview today is with this old time author dressed in woodsman’s togs, Mr. James Fenimore Cooper. Mr. Cooper, I am told you wrote exciting books. Is this true?
Cooper’s ghost: ‘Pears as how that just might be so.
Loon: Are you speaking as yourself now or as your famous character, whatever his name was?
Cooper’s ghost: When dawn caresses my cheek with its slender fingers, I rise in the green haven of the gladed forest in full control of each and every one of my many personalities.
Loon: And that means?
Cooper’s ghost: I ‘spect I speaks how I feels, and whether or not such speech is inspired by the miracle of creation, who can say? I, for one, abhor certainty.
Loon: Thanks for talking to me, if, in fact, you did.
(Ghost exits stage left. Loon exits stage right.)
October 4, 2013
When the ghost of Conrad’s long dead cat visited him, Conrad unleashed his alarming smile of happiness.
October 3, 2013
Conrad Veidt’s eyes are glazed like that because:
a. he’s been awake for 16 days staring at an orange.
b. the wig of enchantment automatically induces a waking coma of happiness.
c. they aren’t his eyes. They’re fake eyes painted on his closed eyelids.
d. his cat, though dead seven years, still recognizes him.
October 2, 2013
Vladimir and Estragon, a couple of trees waiting for the snow.
October 1, 2013
She wasn’t the most talented matron in the yard, but she was the only one who could swim. Securing the secret document between cheek and mandible, she plunged into the canal. Weaving her way deftly under water through sunken columns she arrived at her destination. She pulled herself up through the trapdoor opening to the secret chamber and rested a moment, breathing heavily. The priest approached with outstretched hand. The matron spat the secret document onto the ghostly palm. A nod from the priest sent the matron on her way. She dropped into the water and returned to the yard, swimming strongly, no regrets.
‘Is it done?’ asked the overlord.
She twisted a smile and nodded.
‘Done as done can be,’ she said. ‘Now who’s for a nice cup of tea?’
September 29, 2013
Loon: Today we greet Ingmar Bergman, a famous movie director known to one and to all, on the 3 Question Interview. Mr. Bergman, what was it like working with your sister Ingrid?
Bergman’s ghost: You jest, and though I scowl, you may interpret it as merriment.
Loon: Well then, let me try another. What was it like growing up in Norway?
Bergman’s ghost: You jest, and now my scowl is not so merry.
Loon: There was some sort of a movie about strawberries you made. How did you make a whole movie about strawberries?
Bergman’s ghost: It wasn’t easy. They were wild strawberries, you know. I jest. And now I must leave. You’ve interrupted a very important game of chess. (disappears)
Loon: See you next week, folks. Same time, same place.
September 28, 2013
“Move!” bawled the drill corporal.
And so our trusty vet takes the plunge into WWII while taking many a trip down memory lane.
