October 16, 2010
The evening, I remember, was still and cloudy; the London air was at its heaviest; the distant hum of the street-traffic was at its faintest; the small pulse of life within me and the great heart of the city around me seemed to be sinking in unison, languidly and more languidly, with the sinking sun.
This fine sentence greets us early on in ‘The Woman in White’, a quality tale written when Victoria reigned and semicolons unashamedly roamed the streets in vast numbers.
October 15, 2010
“It says, ‘If you order salad, management reserves the right to punch you in the face.'”
October 14, 2010
THE PLUSH RENEGADE
Starring Burgundy Phelps as the one-eyed detective, Lance Cormorant
Whose mission in life is San Rafael
Co-starring the stealth bombshell, Fromage, as the girl with the ‘howdy’ eyebrows
Will she spell doom for Lance?
Or will Lance go to his grave a bad speller?
The most exciting adventure ever to inhabit the silver screen
Three volcanic eruptions!
Two battleship rammings!
Can you possibly survive
THE PLUSH RENEGADE
October 13, 2010
From this spot, the loon’s domicile is located 100 yards ahead as the mastodon crashes or 80 yards as the crow flies.
October 12, 2010
These wall rocks are not sea mammals and have no tusks.
October 11, 2010
Time was born on the playing fields of the Fife and Drum Academy in Brisbane, Australia. After an uneventful youth, Time moved to Utica, New York in order to become a transportation villain for the FBI. Several unfortunate incidents later, Time may now be found flipping burgers at Red’s Diner in Plano, Texas.
October 10, 2010
The brain is a most wonderful organ, superior even to the mighty Wurlitzer.
October 9, 2010
On his wise shoulders through the checkerwork of leaves the sun flung spangles, dancing coins.
This is my favorite sentence in all of literature. How can I make such a statement? When I reached it for the first time, I erupted from my chair and filled the air with obscene epithets of praise. Never had this happened before, and never has it happened since.
October 8, 2010
“Wherever my pants go, I will follow. Pants are the key, I tell you.”
October 7, 2010
The scandal at Zarcraft Inn took place on a blustery winter’s day
The scandal at Zarcraft Inn concerned a monk, a duck, and a sleigh
The scandal at Zarcraft Inn was not for the young or the faint of heart
The scandal at Zarcraft Inn, my friends, was Napoleon Bonaparte
