January 29, 2018
When Henderson emerged exhausted after hiking off trail through this six mile wide thicket of growth, he discovered five things. One, he had a hole in his pocket. Two, his keys were missing. Three, a side seam of his backpack was split wide open. Four, his wallet and food were missing. Five, he was lost. Henderson’s body seemed to wither on its imaginary vine. He had a decision to make. Attempt to remain alive or make a more logical choice. He made the more logical choice. Luckily, moments later, a grizzly bear agreed with his decision.
January 28, 2018
Loon: Today for the 3 Question Interview we welcome from the great unknown one Deborah Kerr, who I am informed was a motion picture celebrity of some note. First, welcome and may I call you Deb?
Deborah Kerr’s ghost: I prefer Debo, Red, Ginger, or Sam.
Loon: Ginger because of your coloring or because of the spice?
Deborah Kerr’s ghost: Both, actually.
Loon: Ah. And finally, are you left-handed, right-handed, or omnidextrous?
Deborah Kerr’s ghost: It all depends.
Loon: Ah, wise, very wise. Very wise indeed.
(Deborah wanders off arm in arm with the ghost of Oskar Homolka. Loon stands, rubbing his chin.)
January 27, 2018
Dodgson and Mozart met on a cloud.
Dodgson sang softly. Mozart sang loud.
When they were done,
both had had fun.
‘Best birthday wishes to you,’ roared the crowd.
January 26, 2018
Approaching within a ten foot radius of Nefertiti was not advised.
January 25, 2018
These maidens are spelling out in living hieroglyphics:
a. Nefertiti’s breath can melt a pyramid.
b. King Tut marched across the bridge and fell down.
c. Having fun. Wish you were here.
d. We refuse to eat the eel sandwiches.
January 24, 2018
The bold clam, ignoring threats of bi-valve harm, pushed past the guards into the squadron leader’s office. Not about to take no for an answer, it hurled itself at the squadron leader’s neck, causing the surprised officer to swallow his gum. Taking charge, the bold clam ordered the gagging squadron leader to leave the office at once if not sooner. Cowed and strangling, the now pitiful military wretch dove out the door. The bold clam settled on the desk and snarled, “Bring me lunch, and make it snappy!”
January 22, 2018
NOW APPEARING FOR ONE WEEK ONLY
THE PINK ROSE SISTERS!
Daisy and Tulip sing!
They dance!
They keep you laughing with
SNAPPY PATTER!
“The Pink Rose Sisters are amazing!” – Teddy Roosevelt
“The Pink Roses are magic!” – Harry Houdini
January 21, 2018
Most Fingers Pinched
Best Collapse
Longest Resistance to Folding
January 20, 2018
Leaves huddle in terror as The Great Blower approaches
