November 20, 2013
The magic fish removed it spectacles, placed them on the bedside table, doused the glow lamp, and settled back with a sigh to sleep. Sleep, however, refused to visit. The constant drip, drip, drip of air bubbles blurping up from the faucet in the bathroom tap, tap, tapped on the magic fish’s brain. Drat, thought the magic fish, I need plenty of sleep. Tomorrow no doubt I’ll probably have to deal with that fisherman’s greedy wife again or some equally obnoxious fool. The magic fish swam from bed to bathroom and tightened the tap with all it was worth and a few bars more. Such was its effort that its scales glistened like a rainbow. There, muttered the satisfied fish, that’s got it. Returning to its bed, the magic fish burrowed down in comfort, sighing again, this time with bliss. Sleep visited, touching the magic fish with its soothing wand of peace. Elsewhere, the greedy wife of the fisherman spent a sleepless night concocting some newly ridiculous demand.
November 18, 2013
Watch out when the ratio of here and now to there and then falls below 80/20. 95/5 is excellent. 90/10 is all right. 85/15 is borderline. 80/20? Watch the next sunset without fail.
November 17, 2013
Loon: The Lords of the 4th Dimension have sent to us for today’s 3 question interview the royal personage of a very queen needing no introduction. So without further ado, I introduce Queen Victoria. Tell us, your Royal Imperium, what did it feel like when you found out you were Queen?
Victoria’s ghost: We were amused.
Loon: Who were amused?
Victoria’s ghost: We.
Loon: Who we?
Victoria’s ghost: We we. (dissipates)
Loon: Er, I never knew she was French. Well, live and learn. Join me next week when I’ll probe with 3 questions the mind of another deceased celebrity.
November 16, 2013
The fog was like a saffron blanket soaked in ice-water.
The smokey fog is a major character in Allingham’s The Tiger in the Smoke.
November 15, 2013
The human pyramid collapsing shocked Constance. The mooning of Mr. Griffith was old hat to the girl, as was her Ma wading through crowds, fists flying.
November 14, 2013
17 year old Constance Talmadge as Mountain Girl in D. W. Griffith’s Intolerance is reacting to:
a. a pair of extras mooning Mr. Griffith.
b. her Ma bashing her way through a sea of extras to bring Constance lunch.
c. a phalanx of extras falling from their ill-advised attempt at a human pyramid.
d. Katniss Everdeen.
November 12, 2013
The mellow dog barks ‘smooth’ instead of ‘ruff’. – The Mentally Disturbed Philosopher With Cardboard Lapels On Her Tunic
November 10, 2013
Loon: The lords of the 4th dimension inform me that for today’s 3 question interview they’ve sent us William Shakespeare’s landlord, Jack Spot. Mr. Spot, can you tell us anything interesting about Shakespeare?
Jack Spot’s ghost: No.
Loon: What did you serve your tenants for supper?
Jack Spot’s ghost: I were landlord, not innkeeper, you pustule.
Loon: Oh, sorry. Now then, what was a typical day like back then?
Jack Spot’s ghost: Piles of guts tanged with stench.
Loon: That’s all the time we have. Good-bye.
(Jack Spot’s ghost withers to naught. Loon wobbles on his pins, blinks his eyes.)
