Believe it or not, William Howard Taft’s former butler is the correct answer. It’s a long story. Such a long story. Way too complicated. For instance, at one point it involves eels and the Sargasso Sea.
All of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s stories were whipped into shape and typed up for him while he dreamed by:
a. a magic alligator.
b. 3 parrots and a mynah bird.
c. William Howard Taft’s former butler.
d. Zorro.
trek if ye dare into the wood
defy the enveloping mist
and when ye be lost, forlorn, without hope
with doom ye will hold a last tryst
According to Mr. Roy Morris, Jr. in his tome, Lighting Out For The Territory, Sam Clemens caused the following information to be distributed on a handbill advertising his October 2nd, 1866 public lecture debut in San Francisco:
A SPLENDID ORCHESTRA
is in town, but has not been engaged.
A DEN OF FEROCIOUS WILD BEASTS
will be on exhibit in the next block.
MAGNIFICENT FIREWORKS
were in contemplation for this occasion, but the idea has been abandoned.
A GRAND TORCHLIGHT PROCESSION
may be expected; in fact the public are privileged to expect whatever they please.
Doors open at 7 o’clock. The trouble will begin at 8.
Loon: Welcome to this week’s 3 Question Interview With A Celebrity Ghost. I’ve been informed that the formidable looking presence hovering above the ottoman is one Gertrude Stein. Ms. Stein, can you tell us about any amusing incidents you might have had concerning automobiles?
Gertrude Stein’s ghost: It all depends on what you mean by what you mean.
Loon (confused): What I mean?
Gertrude Stein’s ghost: What you mean. Did you mean it when you meant it, or was it wishful thinking?
Loon (more confused): I’m not sure I meant .. what I … mean … or … What’s your favorite color?
Gertrude Stein’s ghost: Nothing is a void to be avoided.
Loon (blinks eyes repeatedly, retreats from room, softly closes door)
Still with her first half-dozen pies to make, she drove home very late, full of a gulpy love for the whole human race.
Here’s a guy who did his own thing beautifully and to the nth power. That sentence up there starring ‘gulpy’ is from Mildred Pierce. In another area of the tale, Mr. Cain begins 9 sentences in a row with the word ‘Then’. I bow to you, oh scribbler, and your ability to make a noir out of the trials and tribulations of a woman starting up a small business.
Archie, the literary cockroach, rescued from his home in a fish’s abdomen by General MacArthur, took up residence in MacArthur’s pipe and advised the general from then until on concerning all things military and many things domestic. MacArthur’s later downfall became inevitable when Archie left him to go on a bender in the ruins of Berlin and was stepped on by a postal worker’s child.
The general’s pipe is actually:
a. a telescope.
b. a bubble pipe.
c. a tiny cocktail shaker.
d. the home of his most trusted adviser, Archie, the educated cockroach.
My head is empty. I’ve nothing to say
on this morning, on this day.
I’m left short of thought, left short of wit.
What’s odd about that? says my sister, Kit.
Kit’s short for Kitty. Oh, not kitty cat.
Poker game kitty, kitty like that.
Hum dee dum, lum dee dee
Fa la la la la la … lee
RSS: Subscribe to
Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
