Speaking of Susan B. Anthony:
Susan B Anthony
Susan be slick
Susan jumped over the candlestick
Her dress caught fire
She ran to the lake
She plunged right in and later ate cake
The frog king and the frog queen lived quite happily in, on and under a garden green. For you see, they possessed everything their hearts desired. Centuries of collecting had crammed bowers in the garden and caverns underneath with a dazzling array of items. There were steak knives with handles of purest ash, a wind-up toy in the shape of something horrid, a phantom deck of playing cards, wood shavings gathered while blindfolded, bus tokens from the Crab Nebula, and such and so and much, much more.
“Oh, what will she bring? I can hardly stand to wait,” said the frog queen.
The royal pair sat on a bench in the garden waiting for a sorceress. The welcome lamp was lit.
“She’ll bring what she’ll bring, my dear, something sure to add to our collection,” said the frog king.
And then, fraff, the sorceress appeared in all her red satin sorceric splendor. She held a small something in her outstretched hand. She smiled her craftiest smile, the one that deepened the dimples in her cheeks and crinkled the outermost corners of her merry blue eyes.
The frog king and the frog queen gasped.
“Can it be?” they said in unison.
The sorceress nodded yes and placed the cameo brooch with the image of Martha Washington into their grasping froggy fingers.
Loon: For today’s 3 question celebrity ghost interview I have been supplied with the shade of Susan B. Anthony. First things being first, what, pray tell, does the B stand for, Ms. Anthony?
Susan B Anthony’s ghost: Brownell.
Loon: Right. Very good. So that’s established. Now, you seem to be olden, what with your clothes and all, so can you tell me what precisely is ceiling wax?
Susan B Anthony’s ghost: Sealing wax, young man, can be used to seal various missives or documents.
Loon: But how do they get it off the ceiling?
Susan B Anthony’s ghost (sighs): And you had the vote, and I did not. (shakes head, dissolves)
Loon (shouting in frustration): What does the vote have to do with wax on the ceiling?
I once knew a man in New Zealand who hadn’t a tooth in his head, … and yet that man could beat a drum better than any man I ever saw.
From one of Mr. Ward’s rambling stage oratory presentations.
An extremely unknown fact is that after spending a few years in the wild studying gorillas, Louise secretly mentored a young Jane Goodall.
Following her movie career, Louise:
a. spent several years laboring as a stevedore in Liverpool.
b. lived for a time with a couple of gorillas in the mist.
c. became quite the talented thimblerigger.
d. opened a hat shop in Macon, Georgia.
e. painted herself blue and hopped back and forth.
Loon: At least the Lords of the 4th Dimension gave me a little hint this week by whooshpering ‘dancer’ in my ear. So the first of my 3 questions to … Could you stop flitting about for a moment, Ms. Duncan?
Isadora Duncan’s ghost: Wind … birds … waves …
Loon: There. That’s … Could you please stop spinning?
Isadora Duncan’s ghost: Whirl … whirl … whirl …
Loon: Now. Okay. About dancing. Did you … Won’t you please come out of the fireplace?
Isadora Duncan’s ghost: The heart flies up the chimney like a spark. (Flies up chimney like spark)
Loon: I don’t think she’s coming back. (Wanders off)
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Doc's Lunacy
5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
