November 18, 2012
Loon: Today I’m pleased to welcome a very famous writer ghost. It’s none other than the old follow the broken twig and footprints under a stream backwoodsman, James Fenimore Cooper. Welcome, Mr. Cooper. I have 3 questions for you. Are you willing to answer them?
Cooper’s ghost: Nothing would gratify me more, excepting perhaps the cry of a hawk in flight.
Loon: Good. Now then. Second question. Whoops, spilled the coffee. Didn’t get any on you, did I?
Cooper’s ghost: My spirit remains untainted.
Loon: Sorry. Anyway, last question. Darn, lost my place. Give me a second, will you?
Cooper’s ghost: I await, a placid duck, for your convenience. (mists away)
Loon: Oh, well. Heh. I’ll be back next week. Join me then.
November 17, 2012
My donors have always tended to do much better than expected.
Swell sentence, swell book, book being Never Let Me Go.
November 16, 2012
Noel finally perfected her intergalactic robot hen and sent it off into space on her 90th birthday.
November 15, 2012
Noel Neill won the part of Lois Lane after several years of:
a. living in an igloo.
b. herding cattle.
c. trying to build an intergalactic robot hen.
d. writing failed screenplays about her pet iguana.
e. hang gliding in New Zealand.
November 14, 2012
I left the Glade of Peace and wandered the Woods of Desire.
I lost my pocket comb and my favorite piece of wire.
A tear leapt from my eye and ran off laughing madly.
I fell into the bog, thus ending my day sadly.
November 13, 2012
Got this capture from Sasquatch cam footage. Gratified.
November 12, 2012
This was the last thing Harold Fern saw before blacking out. When he awoke, he found himself strapped to a cold metal slab in a metallic domed room and surrounded by a swarm of milling aliens alternately hopping and moaning.
November 11, 2012
Loon: I pleaded with the lords of the 6th dimension not to send me any sports people. I don’t know or care anything about sports. So of course they send me this person I’m informed was a baseball player. Great. Oh, well. At least I only have to ask three questions. So your name’s Ty Cobb, is it?
Ty Cobb’s ghost: What do you think?
Loon: Me? Nothing. I think nothing. So you try to do something with a ball and a piece of wood. Is that it?
Ty Cobb’s ghost: You’d best not be casting aspersions on my chosen profession, sir. I give you fair warning. I will cut your legs.
Loon: Wait a minute. I’m sure baseball is very good. I just don’t know anything about it. I’m willing to learn. Why play it at all?
Ty Cobb’s ghost: Revenge.
Loon: Byeeee. (races from room)
November 10, 2012
To the man who is afraid everything rustles.
Hey, what was that?
November 9, 2012
Rinty did in fact excel as a veterinary surgeon specializing in parakeets. He only directed one movie. He couldn’t get along with the suits. He did fly in for one all night session with FDR to outline campaign strategy. He merely suggested a few Hardy Boys plots, all of which were later used in the series. He did his own taxes, but not for anybody else. He did go trick or treating as a kitten, but you could totally tell it was Rinty.
