FAILED NOIR SENTENCES

August 13, 2012
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1.She moved across the room like a peeled avocado. 2. She looked like she could dismantle a battleship with her teeth. 3. He eyed me funny, so I bent his turban. 4. When I introduced his jaw to my fist, he made a face first inspection of the cheap carpeting.

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TRAINING

August 12, 2012
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Following a rigorous training session in preparation for the upcoming invasion, this double blossom triffid sweats like a son of a gun. Later, the full phalanx will feast on venison before attending the nighttime strategy meetings.

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OUT OF PLACE

August 8, 2012
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The loon felt more than slightly out of place when he joined this crowd of concert goers crowding into the stadium to see Frond Astaire dance and Doris Daisy sing. Good show, though. Triffids know how to party.

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POLITICAL REWARD

August 7, 2012
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When Charming Eggfellow was finally elected to Congress after many failed previous attempts, he was most grateful to his puppet masters. After all, they allowed him to stay up late and everything.

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GOBLIN EXPLODES?

August 1, 2012
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This

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CUTE VENISON

July 30, 2012
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I draw a veil over what happened when the spear leaf triffid in the lower left foreground made its move.

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MICE

July 25, 2012

Blue Meanie Mouse Blue Minnie Mouse

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THE PATIENCE OF THE TREES

July 22, 2012
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The trees are waiting.

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IT’S PUN FOR ONE AND ALL

July 17, 2012
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The evil magic penguin casts his spells by banging on his: CAR POOL TUNNEL SIN DRUM

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IRELESS WINTER NET

July 16, 2012
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While on vacation, the loon went out and purchased an ireless winter net in preparation for possible upcoming snowy hunting jaunts. Later, he was severely reprimanded by the pun police.

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