ALIEN SPRINGTIME
May 6, 2012
A SENTENCE BY PETER MATTHIESSEN
May 5, 2012
If anybody finds this diary, I will throw myself into the river.
Shadow Country chugs along nicely, then leaps into high gear when the voice of Carrie Watson chimes in.
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THE SPIRIT OF THE TYPEWRITER
May 4, 2012
In the midnight laundromat The Spirit of the Typewriter folded towels vehemently in an effort to banish aching memories of The Spirit of the Adding Machine. No use, no use, he thought, and abandoning all dignity and stoic acceptance, The Spirit of the Typewriter depressed his space bar. Instantaneously whisked to an establishment located a few kilometers above the dark side of the moon, The Spirit of the Typewriter slumped into a velvet booth.
“What’ll it be, pally?” asked the slender barkeep, voice raised to soar above the syncopated sound of the house band tearing through a jazzed up version of ‘Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life’.
“Rubbing alcohol, and leave the barrel,” replied The Spirit of the Typewriter.
And so, The Spirit of the Typewriter drowned his sorrows in a bar hovering above the far side of the moon. Meanwhile, The Spirit of the Adding Machine was similarly occupied somewhere in the Crab Nebula. Each Spirit remained ignorant of lost love’s location. Ignorance, my friends, is not always bliss.
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BETTE DAVIS KWIZ ANSWER
May 3, 2012
All is the answer. You thought love? No, all. Bette smoked between 40 and 70 packs a day from the day she turned 8. How then, you ask, did she live to be 81? Her genetic blueprint had her penciled in to live to the age of 212.
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THE BETTE DAVIS KWIZ
May 2, 2012
THE ENT INTERVIEW
May 1, 2012
The loon was most fortunate to meet this ent, a triffid ally here to participate in the upcoming triffid invasion and takeover of the earth. The loon, being the loon, more or less botched the interview.
LOON: Wow, you sure are tall. How tall are you?
ENT: 232 feet as the crow flies.
LOON: Do you eat honey?
ENT: No.
LOON: I eat honey. It’s good.
ENT: ………..
LOON: Do you hate birds landing on you and stuff?
ENT: No.
LOON: I got these new hiking shoes yesterday. They’re comfortable.
ENT: …………
LOON: Are you married?
ENT: No.
LOON: Me neither.
ENT: ………….
LOON: Well, guess I’ll be going now. See you later maybe.
ENT: Unless it’s after the invasion and you’re dead.
LOON: Okay.
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THE ROSE OFF
April 30, 2012
The four finalists are:
Melissa Ravenhurst of Abilene, Kansas
Penny Montague of Plano, Texas
Trish Pennyfeather of Eugene, Oregon
Claudia Brockhurst of Pismo Beach, California
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SLOW NEWS DAY – 1893
April 29, 2012
ANCHOVIES CAPTURED
IN RAID ON PANTRY
______________
SNACK OBTAINED
******
WIDESPREAD JUBILATION
******
SHERIFF’S PUZZLING RESPONSE
_____________
Exclusive Interview With
Librarian Witness
____________
A snack was obtained yesterday
afternoon when four bandits hid
turn to page 46
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A SENTENCE BY TRACY CHEVALIER
April 28, 2012
Mary Anning and I are hunting fossils on the beach, she her creatures, I my fish.
That’s a nice lilting sentence from Remarkable Creatures.
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SPRING FASHION SHOW – GRAND FINALE
April 27, 2012
The Grand Finale of the Spring Fashion Show featured these roses dancing to a tune by a Russky dude name of Pete Tchaikovsky.
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By this guy (grown old):
dochorton - at - live - dot - com
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5 of 5 stars to The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton goodreads.com/review/show/55…
